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Ricardo got a pet fish, and the poor thing went through an identity crisis. He couldn't settle on a name. First, it was Nemo, then he changed it to Dory, and finally, he went with Aquaman. I told him, "Ricardo, your fish is having an existential crisis. It's swimming in circles, trying to find its true self. Meanwhile, you're over here confusing marine biology with superhero comics!
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Let me tell you about Ricardo's GPS skills. This guy should have been a navigator in the 15th century – we'd probably still be trying to discover America! I rode with him once, and his GPS was like, "In 500 feet, make a U-turn if possible." I asked him, "Ricardo, are we trying to time travel? Because making a U-turn here is going to take us back to the Middle Ages!
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You ever notice how unpredictable fridges can be? I've got this buddy, Ricardo, and his fridge is like a mystery box. You open it, and it's like playing fridge roulette. You might find a gourmet meal or a science experiment in there. Last time I visited, I found a Tupperware container labeled "Lasagna" that turned out to be a petri dish for a new strain of penicillin. I said, "Ricardo, I thought we were having Italian, not antibiotics for dinner!
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Ricardo is all about DIY projects. Last weekend, he decided to build a bookshelf. I walked in, and it looked like a modern art installation - shelves at odd angles, screws pointing in every direction. I said, "Ricardo, are we displaying the books or trying to confuse burglars with an abstract art piece? 'Cause if it's the latter, you nailed it!
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