17 Jokes For Report Card

Puns

Updated on: Feb 17 2025

cancel
Rating
Sort By:
Why did the report card go to therapy? It had too many issues!
Why did the report card apply for a job? It wanted to improve its grades at work!
Why did the report card go to therapy? It needed someone to help it sort out its grades issues!
Why did the report card get an award? It had outstanding performance!
Why did the math book look sad on the report card day? It had too many problems.
I told my report card to be positive. It just added a plus sign!
Why was the report card cold? All its grades were below freezing!

The Report Card Diet

My report card was on a diet – a strict no-A diet. It was as if my grades were trying to fit into skinny jeans, and anything above a B was just too much to squeeze in.

The Report Card Fortune Teller

If report cards could predict the future, mine would have been like, Congratulations, you're destined for a career where people ask, 'Do you want fries with that?' It was less of a report card and more of a crystal ball telling me to start practicing my fry-flipping skills.

The Great Escape

Getting your report card signed by your parents was the original escape room. You're stuck in a room with two ticking time bombs – mom and dad – and the only way out is to get them to sign that piece of paper without them noticing the C in Math.

Parent-Teacher Meetings

Parent-teacher meetings were like a tribunal where my grades were on trial. My parents would walk in, armed with questions, and my report card would be there, looking more guilty than a cat caught red-handed knocking over a vase.

Report Card Semantics

Report cards have this unique way of making everything sound better than it actually is. Below Average becomes Room for Improvement, and F is just a friendly reminder that I'm Fantastic at challenging myself.

The Report Card Conspiracy

I always felt like report cards were part of a grand conspiracy. Teachers sitting in a secret underground lair, plotting to ruin our summer plans. Let's see how many B's we can throw in there to really spice things up for them!

The Report Card Gambler

I used to treat report cards like playing cards. You flip them over, look at the grades, and then decide if you're going to double down on the next semester or fold and pretend you're taking a gap year in fifth grade.

Report Card Magician

Report cards had this magical ability to turn my parents into amateur magicians. Watch as we make disappointment disappear and turn it into... slightly less disappointment. Ta-da!

The Report Card Hall of Fame

Report cards were like the hall of fame for my academic achievements. If you consider Most Likely to Forget Homework and Master of Excuses as prestigious titles, then yeah, I was basically valedictorian.

Report Card Reckoning

You know, getting a report card was like receiving a letter from Hogwarts for me. Except, instead of magic, it was full of surprises - and none of them good. Congratulations! You've mastered the art of procrastination and turning in homework that looks like it's been through a war zone.

Post a Comment


How was your experience?
0 0 reviews
5 Stars
(0)
4 Stars
(0)
3 Stars
(0)
2 Stars
(0)
1 Stars
(0)

Topic of the day

Go-somewhere
Feb 22 2025

0
Total Topics
0
Added Today