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Loan sharks should really consider a career change. I mean, have they ever thought about becoming motivational speakers? "If you don't pay up, you'll never reach your financial goals!" That's some life-changing advice right there.
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I recently got a credit card statement that said, "Minimum payment due: Your firstborn child." I didn't know I signed up for a magical, interest-gobbling credit card with a sprinkle of fairy tale villainy.
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They say money can't buy happiness, but have you ever seen someone paying off their last car loan? That's the face of pure, debt-free bliss – the kind of happiness you can't put a price on, but apparently, you can repay in monthly installments.
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You ever notice how the word "repayment" sounds like a fancy way of saying, "Here's your money back, but with a side of guilt"?
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Isn't it funny how banks send you statements that are designed to be confusing? I read one the other day, and I'm pretty sure it said, "You owe us a lot of money, but if you dance the Macarena while paying, we might consider a discount.
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The only thing faster than my online shopping addiction is the speed at which my credit card company sends me repayment reminders. I swear, it's like they have a team of ninjas monitoring my every purchase.
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Trying to explain student loans to someone is like attempting to teach a cat how to do algebra. It's confusing, no one really understands it, and there's a lot of hissing involved.
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I've come to the conclusion that financial planners are just modern-day wizards. They magically make your money disappear, and you're left wondering if they have a secret spell for turning debt into confetti.
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The moment you finally pay off a loan is like reaching the summit of Mount Everest. You're exhausted, broke, and wondering why you voluntarily put yourself through that in the first place. Also, there's a strange urge to plant a flag with your face on it.
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