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The Skeptical Conspiracy Theorist
Believing that "reparation" is just a cover-up for an alien invasion
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You ever notice how every time someone brings up reparations, the Area 51 guards start looking nervous? It's like they're thinking, "Uh-oh, they're getting close to the truth. Better increase security and throw in some extra zeros in those checks.
The Time Travel Enthusiast
Wishing reparations could include compensation for time spent in traffic
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Imagine if reparations included time compensation. You'd be late for work, and your boss would be like, "Why are you late?" And you'd say, "I was stuck in the 19th century. Thanks, reparations!
The Overly Optimistic Politician
Trying to convince everyone that "reparation" is just another word for "free vacation"
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I saw this politician on TV talking about reparations. He says, "It's like getting a refund from the universe for being born in this country!" I thought, "Well, I'm still waiting for my 'Welcome to Earth' gift basket.
The Lazy Couch Potato
Hoping reparations involve getting paid to binge-watch TV
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If reparations included payment for every episode of reality TV I've endured, I'd be a billionaire by now. Forget reparations; call it "compensation for enduring bad television choices.
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