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Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. Unlike my reliable friend, who always stands up for me.
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I bought a belt made of watches. It's a waist of time, but at least it's reliable.
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. Eyebrows may not be reliable indicators of emotion.
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What did one wall say to the other? 'I'll meet you at the corner.' Walls are always reliable when they stick together.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Just like a reliable farmer.
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Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish. Unlike my reliable friend who always shares.
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They say a dog is man's best friend because they're loyal and reliable. Well, my dog is also an expert at stealing my socks, so I guess friendship comes with a side of canine fashion sense.
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I got a reliable weather app on my phone. It's so accurate that if it says there's a 30% chance of rain, I'm building an ark just to be on the safe side.
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My car is so reliable that I named it 'The Relationship.' It always gets me where I need to go, doesn't talk back, and occasionally needs a little maintenance to keep the spark alive.
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I envy people with reliable metabolism. I look at a piece of cake, gain five pounds. Meanwhile, they're eating pizza for breakfast, and their bodies are like, 'Don't worry, we got this.'
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I wish my alarm clock was as reliable as my phone reminding me to update its software. I've never seen a more persistent device in my life. It's like having a digital nagging mom.
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I aspire to be as reliable as my grandma's cooking. You can always count on her to make the same delicious meal, even if she has to hide the secret ingredients from you.
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Dating advice: Look for someone as reliable as your phone charger. You don't want someone who disconnects easily, leaving you stranded with a low battery in the middle of the relationship.
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You know you're an adult when 'reliable' becomes your favorite quality in a home appliance. Forget about looks or charm, just give me something that won't break down during a load of laundry.
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My computer is so reliable that it crashes just to remind me I should be saving my work. It's like having a personal IT guy who's a bit of a drama queen.
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