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Joke Types
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Why did the book break up with the dictionary? It found the relationship too defining!
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I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to keep my feet on the ground!
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Why did the bookmark apply for a job online? It wanted to find a better position!
E-books: Because Apparently, Paper Hates Trees
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I tried getting into e-books to be more eco-friendly, you know, saving the planet and all. But now I have a collection of digital books that I'll probably never read, just sitting there, judging me. I miss the good old days when I could blame my towering pile of unread books on my lack of shelf space. Now, my Kindle is giving me the virtual stink eye.
My Browser Tabs: The Modern Art Installation
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I opened my browser the other day, and it looked like a masterpiece—so many tabs, each representing a fragment of my scattered attention. It's like my browser is an abstract painting, and I'm just hoping one of those tabs will lead me to the masterpiece of productivity.
Wikipedia, Where Every Late-Night Rabbit Hole Begins
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Raise your hand if you've ever started reading a Wikipedia article about the history of paperclips and somehow ended up on the mating habits of the Amazon rainforest frogs. Wikipedia is like that friend who starts telling a story and goes, Long story short... except the story was never short, to begin with.
Online Articles: Where 5 Minutes Turns Into 5 Hours
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You ever start reading a quick online article, thinking it'll only take five minutes? Yeah, right. It's a trap! Five hours later, you emerge from the depths of the internet, blinking in the harsh light of reality, wondering where your day went. The article said it was a 'quick read.' I've been deceived.
Social Media: The Ultimate Page-Turner and Time-Burner
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I love how we complain about not having time to read books, yet we can spend hours scrolling through the never-ending saga of other people's lives on social media. It's like the digital version of a gripping novel, complete with plot twists, character development, and the occasional unfollow drama.
The Internet: Where Everyone's an Expert... Until They're Fact-Checked
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We live in an age where everyone's an expert, thanks to the internet. But you know what's even more entertaining? Watching someone confidently share a 'fact' only to see their world crumble when someone fact-checks them. It's like a reality show, and I'm here for the drama.
Kindle: My Passport to Parallel Reading Universes
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I love my Kindle. It's like having a portal to multiple universes right in my hands. One moment I'm solving crimes with Sherlock Holmes, the next I'm in a dystopian future outrunning killer robots. I never know where I'll end up, but at least I'm getting some exercise for my imagination.
Reading Online, AKA Procrastination University
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You ever find yourself doing something productive and then suddenly you're reading online? It's like my brain has its own GPS, but instead of taking me to my destination, it leads me straight to the dark alley of cat memes and conspiracy theories. Next thing I know, I've earned a PhD in Procrastination from the University of Online Reading.
Online Reviews: Because I Trust Strangers More Than My Own Judgment
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I spend more time reading reviews than I do making decisions. I mean, why rely on my own instincts when I can trust a total stranger on the internet? This vacuum cleaner changed my life! Well, if it can handle your life, it can probably handle my crumbs. Thank you, random reviewer, for guiding me through the maze of consumer choices.
I Only Read Classic Literature... SparkNotes Edition
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I like to think of myself as a literary connoisseur, you know, appreciating the classics. But who has time for that? So, I've become an expert at sounding sophisticated about books I've never actually read. Thank you, SparkNotes, for making me feel intellectually superior without the commitment.
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