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Joke Types
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Chef Ramsay's least favorite day? Fry-day. Too many and not enough seasoning.
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Why did Chef Ramsay become a gardener? He wanted to grow some fresh herbs and growl them too!
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Why did the potato break up with Chef Ramsay? It couldn't handle the mash-treatment!
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Why did the vegetable apply for a job in Chef Ramsay's kitchen? It wanted to turnip the heat!
Ramsay's Romance Advice
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I asked Gordon Ramsay for relationship advice. He said, If your love life is as bland as your cooking, then it's time for a makeover. Start by roasting your partner – just not in the oven, unless you want a crispy breakup!
Bedside Manners
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I went to the doctor, and guess who my surgeon was? Gordon Ramsay. I woke up from surgery, and he looked at me and said, Your appendix was so undercooked, I had to give it an extra 10 minutes! It's still raw!
Ramsay's Stand-Up Career
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Gordon Ramsay tried stand-up comedy. He walked on stage and said, I've seen funnier things in a microwave manual. The audience laughed, but I think they were just scared he'd critique their chuckles.
Ramsay's Pet Peeve
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Gordon Ramsay got a pet parrot, and now the bird only squawks insults. I visited his house, and the parrot looked at me and said, Your sense of humor is so dry; even I wouldn't repeat it!
Ramsay's Self-Help Seminar
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Gordon Ramsay hosted a self-help seminar. His advice for success: Wake up early, work hard, and if your dreams aren't coming true, it's because they're raw! Put some effort into it, you donkey! Now I'm just waiting for his motivational book: The Subtle Art of Not Being an Idiot Sandwich.
Hell's Kitchen Fever
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You ever notice how Gordon Ramsay's insults are like spices? He's got more seasoning than my grandma's pantry! I walked into a restaurant, and the chef yelled at me for ordering water. I felt like I was in Hell's Kitchen just for being thirsty!
Ramsay's Parenting Tips
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Gordon Ramsay should write a parenting book. Chapter one: How to make your kids cry by criticizing their mac 'n' cheese. Chapter two: Swearing is an essential part of the bedtime story – it builds character!
Ramsay's Grocery Shopping
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I saw Gordon Ramsay at the grocery store, and he was furious. Apparently, the cucumbers were too soft, the tomatoes too ripe, and the lettuce was just a disgrace. I thought I was in the produce section, not an episode of Kitchen Nightmares!
Ramsay's Yoga Class
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I tried Gordon Ramsay's yoga class. Downward dog? More like downward disaster! He yelled at me for not aligning my chakras properly. I didn't even know I had chakras! Now I'm questioning my spiritual seasoning.
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