17 Jokes About Your Son

Puns

Updated on: Dec 26 2024

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My son asked me for a bookmark, and I burst into tears. He's 11 years old and still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Why did the sun go to school? To get a little brighter, just like my son after a dad joke!
I asked my son to put the cat out. Now I can't get back in.
Why did the banana go to the party? Because it was a-peeling, just like my son's sense of humor!
Why did the scarecrow's son become a successful comedian? He had a talent for standing out in his field!
My son wanted a pet spider, so I got him one. He named it 'Fluffy.' Now I'm not sure if he understands spiders or irony.
I told my son he should aim to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. He replied, 'Dad, I just want to be the WiFi password.

The Homework Wars

I attempted to help my son with his homework the other day. You know you're in trouble when your own kid starts explaining math to you. I felt like I was receiving a crash course in advanced calculus from a tiny professor who still believes in the tooth fairy.

The Teenage Transformation

So my son just hit puberty, and now he thinks he's too cool for everything. I told him, Son, I used to be cool too! He looked at me and said, Dad, you've never been cool. You think 'Netflix and chill' is about watching documentaries.

The Bedtime Battle

Trying to get my son to go to bed is like negotiating a peace treaty. He's got negotiation skills that would put world leaders to shame. I said, It's bedtime, and he responded with, What if I promise to brush my teeth for a whole week? Can I stay up an extra hour?

The Mystery of Missing Socks

I've come to the realization that my son's laundry is a black hole for socks. Seriously, where do they all disappear to? I suspect there's a sock-eating monster in the laundry machine plotting against me. I'm just waiting for my son to start selling them on the black market.

Parenting vs. Technology

Parenting in the digital age is like navigating a spaceship blindfolded. I asked my son to fix my smartphone, and he looked at me like I handed him a relic from the Stone Age. Dad, this thing has a home button? What is this, the Jurassic period?

The Snack Negotiation

You ever try to control your kid's snack intake? It's like negotiating with a tiny James Bond. I said, You can have one cookie. He replied, How about half a cookie and unlimited access to the iPad? I swear, negotiating with a five-year-old is like negotiating with a seasoned lawyer.

The Dinner Dilemma

Trying to get my son to eat his vegetables is like negotiating a peace treaty with a picky eater. I said, Eat your broccoli, and he replied, How about I eat one, and you eat the rest? Deal? I thought I was being clever, but turns out, I'm just a pawn in his vegetable aversion strategy.

The Art of Embarrassment

You know you're a parent when your child starts saying embarrassing things about you in public. I overheard my son telling his friends, My dad still thinks 'dabbing' is a dance move. Hey, it was cool in my day, alright? Maybe not cool, but it was a thing!

The Parenting Manual

I tried reading a parenting manual recently, and it said, Communicate with your child. So, I tried that. I said, Son, let's have a heart-to-heart talk. He looked at me and replied, Can it wait? I'm in the middle of a Fortnite game. Well, at least I tried.

The Parental Power Struggle

You ever try to assert your dominance as a parent? I tried that with my son. I said, I brought you into this world, I can take you out! And he looked at me dead in the eyes and said, Well, good luck finding the receipt!

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