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Joke Types
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My son asked me for a bookmark, and I burst into tears. He's 11 years old and still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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Why did the sun go to school? To get a little brighter, just like my son after a dad joke!
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Why did the banana go to the party? Because it was a-peeling, just like my son's sense of humor!
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Why did the scarecrow's son become a successful comedian? He had a talent for standing out in his field!
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My son wanted a pet spider, so I got him one. He named it 'Fluffy.' Now I'm not sure if he understands spiders or irony.
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I told my son he should aim to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. He replied, 'Dad, I just want to be the WiFi password.
The Homework Wars
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I attempted to help my son with his homework the other day. You know you're in trouble when your own kid starts explaining math to you. I felt like I was receiving a crash course in advanced calculus from a tiny professor who still believes in the tooth fairy.
The Teenage Transformation
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So my son just hit puberty, and now he thinks he's too cool for everything. I told him, Son, I used to be cool too! He looked at me and said, Dad, you've never been cool. You think 'Netflix and chill' is about watching documentaries.
The Bedtime Battle
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Trying to get my son to go to bed is like negotiating a peace treaty. He's got negotiation skills that would put world leaders to shame. I said, It's bedtime, and he responded with, What if I promise to brush my teeth for a whole week? Can I stay up an extra hour?
The Mystery of Missing Socks
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I've come to the realization that my son's laundry is a black hole for socks. Seriously, where do they all disappear to? I suspect there's a sock-eating monster in the laundry machine plotting against me. I'm just waiting for my son to start selling them on the black market.
Parenting vs. Technology
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Parenting in the digital age is like navigating a spaceship blindfolded. I asked my son to fix my smartphone, and he looked at me like I handed him a relic from the Stone Age. Dad, this thing has a home button? What is this, the Jurassic period?
The Snack Negotiation
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You ever try to control your kid's snack intake? It's like negotiating with a tiny James Bond. I said, You can have one cookie. He replied, How about half a cookie and unlimited access to the iPad? I swear, negotiating with a five-year-old is like negotiating with a seasoned lawyer.
The Dinner Dilemma
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Trying to get my son to eat his vegetables is like negotiating a peace treaty with a picky eater. I said, Eat your broccoli, and he replied, How about I eat one, and you eat the rest? Deal? I thought I was being clever, but turns out, I'm just a pawn in his vegetable aversion strategy.
The Art of Embarrassment
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You know you're a parent when your child starts saying embarrassing things about you in public. I overheard my son telling his friends, My dad still thinks 'dabbing' is a dance move. Hey, it was cool in my day, alright? Maybe not cool, but it was a thing!
The Parenting Manual
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I tried reading a parenting manual recently, and it said, Communicate with your child. So, I tried that. I said, Son, let's have a heart-to-heart talk. He looked at me and replied, Can it wait? I'm in the middle of a Fortnite game. Well, at least I tried.
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