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You ever notice how birthday cards are getting more and more complicated? There are cards that sing, cards that light up, cards with pop-ups that practically assault you when you open them. Well, I made the mistake of picking one of those fancy cards for my dad's birthday. It played a tune, had glitter explosions, and even had a recorded message. But when he opened it, the card malfunctioned, and instead of a heartfelt message, it played the theme song to some kids' cartoon. My dad just looked at me and said, "I appreciate the effort, but next time, can we stick to a simple 'Happy Birthday'?
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Let's talk about birthday cakes, shall we? Now, usually, people have these elaborate, Instagram-worthy cakes for their birthdays. But not my dad. No, he's a simple man with simple tastes. Last year, we got him a cake that was supposed to represent his hobbies. It had a golf club, a fishing rod, and a book on it. The problem? My dad doesn't fish, play golf, or read! It was like presenting him with a cake that screamed, "We don't know you at all!" He just looked at it and said, "Is this a riddle or a dessert?
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Now, the highlight of the birthday celebration is always the gift-opening moment. Last year, I thought I found the perfect gift. I gave him a fancy pen. You know, the kind that comes in a sleek box and looks like it costs more than my car. I handed it to him with a big smile, expecting him to be impressed. But what does he do? He looks at it, looks at me, and says, "Do I look like I sign million-dollar deals every day?" Well, excuse me for trying to bring a touch of class to your life, Dad!
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You know, folks, birthdays are always a tricky thing. Especially when it comes to my dad's birthday. You see, my dad is the kind of guy who's impossible to shop for. I mean, what do you get the man who insists he has everything he needs? Last year, I thought I nailed it. I got him a high-tech gadget that promised to make his life easier. But when I gave it to him, he just looked at it and said, "What am I supposed to do with this? Is this a phone or a spaceship?" It turns out, I'm not as up-to-date with the latest technology as I thought.
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