bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
Yacht etiquette is like a secret society with rules you only learn when you embarrass yourself. Apparently, it's considered impolite to ask the captain if he knows where he's going. I mean, it's a valid question when you're surrounded by endless water, right? But no, suddenly, I'm the bad guy for questioning his celestial navigation skills. And don't get me started on the bathroom situation. It's like trying to use a Porta Potty during an earthquake. You're holding onto the sides for dear life, praying you don't accidentally christen the yacht with an unintended golden shower. It's all very dignified.
0
0
Yacht parties, let me tell you, they're not what you see in music videos. They make it seem like everyone's sipping champagne, dancing elegantly. In reality, it's more like everyone's gripping the rails, desperately trying not to spill their drinks as the boat rocks back and forth. And have you ever tried to dance on a yacht? It's like trying to salsa during an earthquake. You're supposed to move gracefully, but you end up doing this weird mix of the cha-cha and the moonwalk just to stay upright.
The worst part is when someone inevitably falls overboard. The music stops, everyone looks around, and then we all collectively pray it's not the guy who brought the expensive champagne. I mean, priorities, right?
0
0
Yacht fashion is a whole different ballgame. You've got to look the part, or you're treated like you wandered in from a fishing trawler. But who decided that boat shoes were a good idea? They're like slippers with delusions of grandeur. And what's with the sailor outfits? I put on this navy blue and white striped shirt, and suddenly, I'm supposed to know how to tie a million nautical knots. I can barely tie my shoelaces without a YouTube tutorial, and now you want me securing the mainsail? I'm just here for the Instagram pictures, not to join the navy!
0
0
You ever been on a yacht? No? Well, I haven't either, but my friend insisted on taking me on one. I thought, "This is it, the high life, luxury, the wind in my hair!" Yeah, it was more like the wind in my face because I spent the whole time clinging to the railing, turning various shades of green. I've never felt more like a landlubber in my life. You know it's bad when you're on a yacht, and the seagulls are circling overhead, not out of curiosity, but because they think you might be the catch of the day! The captain was all calm, telling me to enjoy the waves. I was like, "Captain, these aren't waves; they're mini tsunamis trying to capsize us!"
I don't understand yacht lingo either. The captain was shouting things like "starboard" and "port," and I'm there thinking, "Can we just stick to 'left' and 'right'? I'm too busy not falling into the abyss to decode your sailor speak!
Post a Comment