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I was daydreaming about owning a yacht recently. Then I realized I can barely handle a paddleboat without going in circles. Imagine me trying to dock a yacht – it'd be like a chaotic dance routine on water.
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You know you're at a posh event when someone casually mentions they have a yacht, and you're over here just excited that your car has air conditioning. "Oh, a yacht? That's cool, but have you tried the vent setting on my Toyota?
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I heard someone say that a yacht is just a hole in the water you throw money into. I thought, "Well, at least it's a classy hole, right?" Beats the regular holes we throw money into, like cable bills and broken toasters.
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Why do they call it a yacht club? It's like Fight Club, but with fewer bruises and more cucumber sandwiches. The first rule of Yacht Club: always talk about how fabulous your yacht is.
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I was thinking about buying a yacht the other day. You know you've made it in life when you start measuring distances in nautical miles instead of regular ones. "Oh, the grocery store? It's just a short 400 nautical miles away, darling.
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You ever notice how the word "yacht" sounds like something you'd say if you were trying to discreetly hiccup at a fancy party? "Ah, yes, I do believe this hors d'oeuvre is quite yaacht!" Smooth, right?
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They say a yacht is a status symbol. But what if I just want people to think I'm successful without all the maintenance and upkeep? Can I get a cardboard cutout of a yacht to put in my driveway?
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I was watching a yacht sail by the other day and thought, "That's the boat version of someone swiping right on Tinder." It's like, "Yep, I choose you to cruise into my life and make it all fancy.
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Have you ever tried parking a yacht? It's like trying to fit a giraffe into a phone booth. I mean, do they make yacht-sized parking spots? "Honey, grab the GPS. I think we overshot the marina... again.
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