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What's the deal with the magician who turned his friend into a calendar? He wanted to see his days change!
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What's the deal with the music teacher who was always calm? She had perfect pitch!
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What's the deal with the bicycle that won a race? It was two-tired of losing!
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What's the deal with the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
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What's the deal with the bee who complained about its job? It wanted a more honey-oriented career!
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What's the deal with the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She gave birth to an entire litter of mittens!
What's the deal with In-Flight Wi-Fi?
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In-flight Wi-Fi is like paying for a first-class ticket to sit in the nosebleed section of the internet. It's so slow that by the time you finish loading a page, you've already landed, and they're announcing the next Marvel movie.
What's the deal with Alarm Clocks?
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I don't trust alarm clocks. They're basically demanding that you trust a device that says, Hey, I know you were dead asleep, but I think it's time for you to wake up now. Trust me, I got this. You ever hit the snooze button so many times that you start negotiating with yourself about whether you really need that job?
What's the deal with Gym Memberships?
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Gym memberships are like New Year's resolutions – we sign up with the best intentions, and three months later, we're avoiding eye contact with the treadmill like it's a judgmental ex. The only thing I'm lifting at the gym is my self-esteem, and sometimes that feels like a workout.
What's the deal with Fast Food Drive-Thrus?
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Fast food drive-thrus are the modern equivalent of a magic carpet ride, but instead of a beautiful Arabian night, it's you, your car, and the sweet aroma of greasy fries. The real challenge is resisting the urge to eat the fries before you even leave the parking lot.
What's the deal with Avocado Toast?
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Avocado toast has become the symbol of a generation. It's like, Hey, let's spend $15 on brunch and still not be able to afford a house! Avocado toast is the middle-class dream and the real estate agent's nightmare.
What's the deal with Self-Checkout?
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I tried using the self-checkout at the grocery store, and it's like entering a high-stakes game of Can You Scan It Faster Than the Machine Yells at You? I've never felt so judged by a robotic voice. Unexpected item in the bagging area is the self-checkout version of a sarcastic eye roll.
What's the deal with Weather Apps?
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Weather apps are the only thing that can make you question your life choices. Should I wear a jacket today? I don't know, let me consult my phone, the digital meteorologist that's probably just as accurate as a fortune cookie. There's a 30% chance of rain. Well, there's a 100% chance I'm still confused.
What's the deal with Coffee Shop Sizes?
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Why do coffee shops insist on calling their sizes venti and grande? I just want a large coffee, not a lesson in Italian. I feel like I need a PhD in Starbucks to order a simple cup of joe.
What's the deal with Parking Spaces?
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You ever notice how parking spaces are like the VIP section of the concrete jungle? You spend more time circling the lot than you do at the actual party! I swear, I've had relationships that were easier to find than a good parking spot.
What's the deal with Social Media Filters?
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I love how social media filters turn us all into slightly more attractive, less real versions of ourselves. It's like digital makeup. I want to meet the person who looks like their Instagram filter in real life – they must be a wizard or a Snapchat magician.
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