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Smartphones
Everyone's addicted to their smartphones, but what's the deal with it turning us into socially awkward wizards?
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Smartphones are like modern love letters. Instead of expressing our feelings, we just send a bunch of heart emojis and hope they get it. It's like Shakespeare, but with more thumbs.
Self-Checkout
Why do we use self-checkout lanes when we know it's just a high-stakes game of "Can I bag my groceries faster than the computer can yell at me?"
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Self-checkout lanes are like a test of our multitasking skills. Scan, bag, pay, and don't forget to look casual while doing it, or the person in line behind you will start giving you the "hurry up" side-eye.
Gym Memberships
Why do we pay for gym memberships and then treat the gym like it's a museum of exercise equipment we only visit on special occasions?
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Gym memberships are like New Year's resolutions: we sign up full of hope, but by February, we're just hoping the elliptical machine doesn't judge us for not showing up.
Online Shopping
Why are we spending more time browsing for things online than we do talking to our neighbors?
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My mailman probably thinks I'm a fitness freak because all those Amazon packages are just weights, right? It's not that I'm lazy; I'm just investing in my health with convenient doorstep dumbbells.
Coffee Shops
Why are coffee shops turning into our second offices, and why do we feel the need to have job interviews in line for a latte?
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Coffee shops have become so hipster that I half-expect the barista to look at me and say, "Sorry, we only serve this blend to people who've read the entire menu in Latin.
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