17 Jokes For Weasel

Puns

Updated on: Mar 28 2025

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What's a weasel's favorite holiday? Stoat Patrick's Day!
What's a weasel's favorite subject in school? Stoatistics!
What's a weasel's favorite game? Hide and stoat seek!
Why did the weasel bring a pencil to the party? It wanted to draw attention!
Did you hear about the weasel who took up singing? It had a ferret-tastic voice!
What's a weasel's favorite movie genre? Stoatally action-packed films!
How do weasels keep in touch? They stoatally use the internet!

Weasel's Social Media Presence

My weasel insisted on creating a social media account. Now he's an influencer in the rodent community. He posts pictures of himself stealing snacks, and his followers are through the roof. I'm just waiting for the day he demands a blue checkmark for his tiny, furry fame.

Weasel in Disguise

Caught my weasel wearing a disguise the other day. I asked him what he was doing, and he said, Just trying to fit in with the neighborhood cats. They have this whole mysterious vibe, and I thought I'd join the cool clique. Turns out, they don't appreciate weasels stealing their swagger.

Weasel's Standup Career

My weasel's trying his hand at stand-up comedy. His favorite punchline? Why did the weasel cross the road? To steal your jokes on the other side! I didn't have the heart to tell him that joke theft isn't a great way to start a comedy career.

The Weasel Chronicles

You ever notice how life is like having a pet weasel? It's cute at first, but then it starts stealing your socks, hiding in the corners, and suddenly you realize you're living with a furry little criminal. Next thing you know, your weasel's got its own true crime podcast, solving mysteries and framing the neighbor's hamster.

Weasel vs. Technology

My weasel got hold of my smartphone recently. Now it's the proud owner of the world's smallest dating app. Swipe left, swipe right—it's all the same to the weasel. I asked him how it's going, and he said, Well, I've matched with a ferret in the next block. We're planning a romantic dinner in the garbage can.

Weasel and the Stock Market

I tried explaining the stock market to my weasel. Now he's the proud owner of 10,000 acorns, convinced he's the Warren Buffett of the forest. His investment strategy? Bury them all and hope for an oak tree boom. I've never seen a weasel check the financial news so avidly.

Weasel Fitness Routine

Trying to get my weasel into shape, so I introduced him to the concept of a treadmill. Little guy hopped on and looked at me like, What is this, a human-powered hamster wheel? Now I've got a fit weasel with a superiority complex. He struts around like he's the Rocky Balboa of the rodent world.

Weasel's Bucket List

Found a bucket list in my weasel's hiding spot. Turns out, he's determined to become the world's first weasel astronaut. He's already practicing zero-gravity acrobatics in the laundry basket. I'm just hoping NASA doesn't have a height requirement for intergalactic explorers.

Weasel's Cooking Show

Walked into the kitchen to find my weasel wearing a chef's hat. He's got his own cooking show now, specializing in gourmet garbage cuisine. His signature dish? Dumpster Diving Delight. It's like the Food Network, but with more fur and fewer hygiene standards.

Weasel Wisdom

I tried to impart some wisdom to my weasel the other day. I said, Life is short, buddy, so seize the day! The weasel just looked at me and said, Seize it? I've been trying to escape it for years! Have you seen the size of the laundry basket? It's a maze in there!

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