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The Volcano Eruption Survivor
Sharing a traumatic experience while finding humor in the chaos.
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People always ask, "What were you thinking during the eruption?" I tell them, "Honestly, I was just hoping my life insurance covered acts of magma.
The Anxious Volcano Scientist
Balancing scientific curiosity with the fear of getting too close.
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The other day, someone asked me how I deal with the stress of my job. I told them, "Oh, I just vent it out, you know, like a volcano. But instead of lava, it's just me complaining to my cat.
The Volcano Tour Guide
Trying to make a dangerous natural disaster sound like a pleasant vacation.
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One day, a guy asked me if the volcano was active. I said, "Active? Oh, it's the Beyoncé of volcanoes. Always ready for a fiery performance!
The Volcano Conspiracy Theorist
Believing that volcanoes are part of a grand, mystical plan.
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I'm convinced there's a secret volcano society plotting to take over the world. I mean, have you ever seen a volcano and a supervillain in the same room? I rest my case.
The Volcano Therapist
Providing emotional support for volcanoes going through an identity crisis.
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My toughest case was a volcano with commitment issues. It kept saying, "Should I erupt? Should I not?" I told it, "You need to commit, or else you'll end up in a geological version of relationship therapy.
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