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I challenged the USS ship to a race. It said, 'You're going to get 'sailed'!
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Why did the USS ship apply for a job? It wanted to make a 'sea'rious career change!
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I asked the USS captain if he could play a musical instrument. He said, 'Sure, I can play the navy-organ.
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Why did the USS boat become a comedian? It had a great sense of 'humor' at sea!
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Why did the USS ship blush? It saw the ocean's bottom and thought it was too 'deep'!
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Why did the USS captain bring a ladder to the ship? To reach the 'high seas'!
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Why did the USS ship become a detective? It was great at 'sea'-rching for clues!
USS Bathroom Blues
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Why is it that when you enter a public restroom, it's like stepping onto the USS Bathroom Blues? Suddenly, everyone's a contortionist trying to avoid touching anything. I'm in there doing a yoga routine just to wash my hands.
USS Small Talk
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Small talk is the USS Small Talk of social interactions. How's the weather? Like, I don't know, Linda, I live in the same city you do. Let's talk about something more exciting, like how my cat learned to high-five.
USS Group Chat
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Group chats are the USS Group Chat of communication. You think you left the conversation, and suddenly, you're pulled back in with a flood of messages. It's like trying to escape quicksand but in digital form.
USS Awkward
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You ever been on a date, and it's going great until that USS Awkward sails into the conversation? It's like, Oh, so you collect toenail clippings? That's... unique.
USS Traffic Tango
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Traffic feels like an episode of Dancing with the Cars, and the USS Traffic Tango is leading the way. We're all doing the stop-and-go dance, trying not to step on each other's bumpers. It's a traffic tango, and nobody's getting a perfect score.
USS Grocery Store Wars
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Grocery shopping is a battlefield, and the USS Grocery Store Wars are real. It's like a high-stakes game of maneuvering around other shoppers, dodging rogue shopping carts, and trying to remember if I need avocados for the fifth time.
USS Selfie Struggles
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Taking a selfie is navigating the USS Selfie Struggles. You try to find the right angle, but suddenly you're contorted like a pretzel, and your arm feels like it's on fire. All for that perfect shot that gets two likes and your mom commenting, Nice haircut.
USS Mystery Socks
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I did laundry the other day, and I swear the USS Mystery Socks took half my socks with it. I don't know where they go, but if my socks are having a beach vacation somewhere, I hope they're enjoying it.
USS Pet Hair Invasion
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Having a pet is like inviting the USS Pet Hair Invasion into your home. No matter how much you vacuum, it's like your dog and cat are secretly shedding fur like it's their side job. My house is just one giant furball with furniture.
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