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I was at a party, and someone goes, "Hey, have you met Tyrone?" I'm like, "Oh, I know Tyrone. Doesn't everyone? It's like knowing gravity exists or that the Wi-Fi will betray you when you need it the most.
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You know you're at a diverse party when there's a Tyrone, a Miguel, and a Rajesh all in the same room. It's like the United Nations of chillin'. I'm just waiting for the moment when someone yells, "Tyrone, pass the samosas!
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Tyrone's the kind of guy who starts a diet every Monday. Monday, the day of eternal optimism. I'm waiting for the day when he goes, "New Year's resolutions? Nah, I do weekly resolutions. Keeps me on my toes.
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Tyrone told me he's into meditation. I'm like, "You, Tyrone? Meditating? Are you sure you're not confusing it with a nap?" I can picture him trying to find his Zen and accidentally dozing off. Classic Tyrone move.
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You ever notice how there's always that one person in your group named Tyrone? Like, every squad has a Tyrone. It's like a universal law or something. I mean, I thought it was a rare name, but nope, Tyrone's everywhere, like the Waldo of real life.
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I asked Tyrone how he's doing, and he hits me with the classic, "Living the dream." I'm thinking, "Really, Tyrone? The dream? Because last night, my dream involved me forgetting my pants at the supermarket. Your dream sounds way more motivational.
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You ever notice how Tyrone always has that one friend who can't pronounce his name right? It's like a secret mission to see how creatively people can butcher it. "Hey, T-bone, Typhoon, Tyrannosaurus, close enough, right?
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I overheard Tyrone talking about his weekend plans. He goes, "I'm gonna take it easy, maybe binge-watch some documentaries." Tyrone, my man, when I want to relax, I'm watching a sitcom, not a deep dive into the history of paperclips.
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Tyrone's the guy who acts surprised every time he gets carded at a bar. Like, dude, we've known each other for years. It's not amnesia; it's just a bartender doing their job. Maybe invest in some anti-aging cream, Tyrone.
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