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What's a skeleton's least favorite room in the house? The living room, because it has 300 bones!
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What do you call a group of musical whales that weighs a total of 300 tons? An orca-stra!
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, and it was 300 island!
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What do you call a Roman gladiator who weighs 300 pounds? Maximus Massive!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, 300 days a year!
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Three hundred? That's the number of unread messages I have from my mom asking if I'm eating well. I swear, my phone thinks I'm on a hunger strike!
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You know you're an adult when your idea of a wild Friday night is spending three hundred dollars on a vacuum cleaner and being excited about it. I've officially hit rock bottom, or should I say 'dust bottom'?
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Three hundred is the number of dollars I spent on a self-help book that promised to make me a millionaire in a month. Spoiler alert: I'm still waiting for that 'millionaire' status, but hey, at least I'm rich in disappointment!
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Three hundred is the number of TV channels I have, and yet I still spend an hour scrolling through them only to end up watching a show about people watching paint dry. It's riveting, really.
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Three hundred is the number of excuses my friend gave for being late. I didn't even know there were that many reasons for 'traffic' and 'unexpected events' in one person's life. It's like he's living in a real-life soap opera.
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You ever try counting to three hundred during a boring meeting? I did once. By the time I got to 298, I was daydreaming about a parallel universe where meetings are outlawed.
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Three hundred is also the approximate number of times my GPS has said, 'Recalculating...' in a single road trip. I'm starting to think my GPS has commitment issues.
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Three hundred is the number of unread emails in my inbox. At this point, I consider my email a virtual black hole. If aliens ever invade, they're going to find my inbox and think we communicate exclusively in newsletters.
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Three hundred is also the number of seconds it takes for me to regret lending money to a friend. It's like I've mastered the art of choosing the financially challenged as my sidekicks.
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