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Let's talk about the thirst traps these days. You've got people posting pictures of their morning coffee like they're auditioning for a Folgers commercial. And then there are those gym selfies—like, we get it, you lift bro! But do you need to document every single bicep curl? But the real masters of the game are the ones who post cryptic messages that leave you scratching your head. "Living my best life but struggling with existential dread." What?! Are you on vacation or having an identity crisis? Please, someone, decode this message!
And let's not forget the filters! Some people use so many filters; they make Snapchat look like a basic pencil sketch. I mean, you've got filters for everything now. "Do you want to look like a puppy with flawless skin? We've got just the filter for you!
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We need to create a "thirst emergency" hotline for these people. You know, a hotline where instead of operators asking, "What's your emergency?" they ask, "How many selfies have you taken in the last hour?" And can we talk about the comments on these thirsty posts? It's like a competition to see who can come up with the most generic compliment. "Gorgeous!" "Stunning!" I mean, come on, people! Get creative! You're not judging a high school talent show!
But amidst all the thirst, let's appreciate the self-aware ones who own it. The ones who post a picture and say, "Yeah, I'm feeling myself today. Here's a selfie for your timeline!" Cheers to them! At least they're honest about their thirst.
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You ever notice how "thirsty hoes" sounds like the title of an agricultural reality show? I can imagine it now: "Tonight on Thirsty Hoes, watch as these desperate plants compete for the last drop of water in the desert!" I mean, talk about drama in the garden! But seriously, let's talk about these thirsty hoes on social media. You know who I'm talking about—the ones who post a selfie every hour, fishing for compliments like they're throwing a line in the ocean. "Please, someone, anyone, tell me I'm pretty!" It's like they've got a thirst trap on every corner of their profile.
And what's with the cryptic captions? "Feeling blue but making it pink." What does that even mean? Are you sad but pretending to be happy? Or are you trying to tell us your favorite color while struggling with basic color theory?
You can't deny, though, we've all got a bit of thirst in us. I mean, who hasn't refreshed their feed a gazillion times hoping for a like or a comment? But some people take it to the next level. They're so thirsty; they make the Sahara look like a water park!
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Now, when it comes to dealing with these thirsty hoes, you've got two choices: either give them a drink or a reality check. But let's be honest, most of us choose the latter. You know, those moments when someone's fishing for compliments, and you're just like, "I'm not taking that bait today, buddy." And then there are those who go to extreme lengths for attention. You see them posting a picture with a quote like, "I'm so done with people." But two hours later, they're back at it, posting selfies with captions like, "Feeling cute, might delete later." I mean, make up your mind! Are you over people or auditioning for America's Next Top Model?
But hey, if you've got a friend who's a certified thirsty hoe, sometimes you just gotta intervene. You become the unofficial hydration specialist of their life. "Here's a glass of water and a reality check. Drink up, darling!
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