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Have you noticed that the over twenties Facebook is basically a digital yearbook where everyone updates their status to prove they're still alive? "Just had a cup of coffee. Heart's still beating. #LivingTheDream
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The over twenties Facebook is like a graveyard of event invites. You get notifications for parties, weddings, and baby showers, but your attendance is limited to hitting the "Interested" button and binge-watching the event unfold through everyone else's photos.
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You know you're officially in the over twenties Facebook club when your newsfeed is filled with ads for anti-aging creams, meal prep services, and the latest in ergonomic office chairs. It's like a constant reminder that time is ticking, and the only thing you've mastered is the art of procrastination.
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One thing I've learned from the over twenties Facebook is that everyone's a gourmet chef when it comes to posting pictures of their meals. I mean, I can barely make toast without setting off the smoke detector, but apparently, everyone else is a culinary genius with perfectly plated dishes.
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The over twenties Facebook is like a support group for people who are still trying to figure out how to adult. It's a place where you can post about your failed attempts at cooking and get virtual pats on the back from friends who are secretly ordering takeout.
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Remember when Facebook used to be about connecting with friends? Now it's more like a competition of who can post the most aesthetically pleasing pictures of their pets. If your dog doesn't have an Instagram account with more followers than you, are you even a responsible pet owner?
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The over twenties Facebook is the only place where you can see someone post a picture of their new car and immediately wonder if they're secretly drowning in student loan debt. Ah, the joys of adulting.
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You know you're getting older when you remember a time when Facebook was just for college students. Now it's like the over twenties Facebook, where the only friend requests you get are from your chiropractor and the guy who sold you a lawnmower on Craigslist.
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The over twenties Facebook is where you go to witness the epic battle between "I'm living my best life" and "I just ate an entire pizza by myself." It's a delicate dance of pretending to have it all together while secretly binge-watching Netflix in your pajamas.
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