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Why did the calendar break up with the clock? It felt time was just dragging on in 2022.
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My new year's resolution is to be more organized. So, I bought a calendar. For 2022.
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Why did the resolutions go to the gym? They wanted to get fit for the next 365 days!
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What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman. He's ready for 2022!
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Why did the resolution break up with January? It felt things were not progressing fast enough.
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Why did the calendar feel unwell at the start of 2022? It had too many dates.
New Year, Same Old Password
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I decided to be more secure in the new year, so I changed my password. Now, I spend the first day of every month trying to remember which combination of my ex's name and my favorite dessert I used.
New Year's Resolutions vs. Reality
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You ever notice how New Year's resolutions are like my internet connection? Full of promises in the beginning, but by February, it's buffering, and I'm back to my old habits.
New Year, New Gym Members
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The gym in January is like a carnival. New faces everywhere, people trying to figure out how to use the machines, and you can almost smell the regret in the air. By February, it's a ghost town again.
Time for a New Year, Same Old Me
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They say a new year is a chance for a new you. Well, I tried that once, and by January 2nd, I was back on the couch with a bag of chips, realizing the old me was just fine, thank you.
New Year, Same Old Midnight Snack
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I decided to start the new year with a healthy midnight snack. So, I bought kale chips. Yeah, turns out they taste exactly like regular chips if you close your eyes and imagine hard enough.
The New Year's Eve Party Dilemma
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New Year's Eve parties are like my wardrobe - I never know what to wear, and by the end of the night, I regret all my choices.
The New Year 2022
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You know, the new year is like a toddler trying to walk. Everyone's excited about it, but it's stumbling all over the place, and we're just hoping it doesn't fall flat on its face.
New Year, New Calendar, Same Procrastination
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Got a new calendar for the new year, thinking it would magically make me more organized. Turns out, procrastination doesn't care what year it is. It's timeless, like a fine wine or a really bad ex.
The New Year's Gym Resolution Paradox
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My New Year's resolution was to go to the gym regularly. Now I've got the perfect attendance at the gym, but I'm still waiting for the results. It's like I accidentally enrolled in the wrong class.
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