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The gym in January is like a high school reunion. Everyone's there, pretending they've been working out all year, but deep down, we all know they're just trying to shed those holiday cookies.
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New Year's resolutions are like Snapchat streaks. They seem like a good idea at first, but eventually, you forget about them, and the only streak you're left with is the one on your bathroom mirror from attempting to floss regularly.
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New Year's resolutions are like elevator buttons. We all press them, but deep down, we know they don't really have the power to change things. We just hope that maybe, just maybe, this time will be different.
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New Year's resolutions are like my phone battery. Full of enthusiasm at the beginning, but by mid-January, they're already on life support, and I'm just desperately searching for a charger – or in this case, motivation.
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You know, every new year feels like a software update. You're excited about the new features, but deep down, you know it's just going to be the same old glitches and crashes by February.
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The first week of January is the only time when we're all professional mathematicians. You spend hours calculating how many days you can procrastinate before officially giving up on your resolutions.
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The gym on January 1st is like a battlefield. People are fighting for the treadmills like it's the last piece of cake at a birthday party. I just want to work out, not reenact scenes from a survival movie.
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New Year's Eve plans are like IKEA furniture. You start with high expectations, but halfway through, you realize it's more complicated than you thought, and you end up just wanting it to be over.
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Starting the new year is like trying to find a matching pair of socks in the laundry – you know it's in there somewhere, but it's going to take some time, and you might end up settling for mismatched ones.
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