16 Jokes For The New Guy

Puns

Updated on: Aug 13 2024

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Why did the new guy at the zoo get promoted so quickly? He knew how to work well with all the 'roar'some colleagues!
The new guy at the gardening club thinks plants have feelings. I guess he's really rooting for them.
The new guy at the bakery was caught eating the profits. I guess he just couldn't resist the dough!
I asked the new guy if he could make a cup of coffee. He said, 'Sure, I've bean preparing for this!
Why did the new guy at the construction site bring a pencil? He wanted to draw some conclusions.
Why did the new guy bring a ladder to his first day at the office? Because he heard it was the first step to success!

The New Guy

The new guy loves team-building exercises. I swear, he'd organize a scavenger hunt to find the missing stapler if he could. Sorry, mate, but the only hunt I'm interested in is the one for the last donut in the breakroom.

The New Guy

I love the enthusiasm of the new guy, walking in like he's on a job interview every day. Buddy, we're not the FBI; you can relax. We're just here to survive meetings and pretend to work.

The New Guy

The new guy is so eager to make a good impression; he's like a walking LinkedIn profile. I half-expect him to hand out business cards with his job title, LinkedIn URL, and a motivational quote. Dude, we work in accounting, not motivational speaking.

The New Guy

The new guy is like a human version of the Reply All button – he thinks everyone needs to know everything about him. Newsflash, mate: We don't need a detailed PowerPoint presentation on your vacation to the Bahamas.

The New Guy

You know you've got a new guy in the office when you hear phrases like, Back in my day, we used to fax everything. Dude, back in your day, we also had Blockbuster; times change, and so should you.

The New Guy

You ever notice how in every office, there's always that new guy? The one who looks like he just discovered the copier and thinks it's a time machine. Bro, you're not in Back to the Future; you're in Back to the Coffee Machine!

The New Guy

I asked the new guy how his weekend was, and he starts describing his home improvement projects in vivid detail. Bro, I was just being polite, not signing up for a TED Talk on the wonders of wallpaper.

The New Guy

You know you're dealing with the new guy when he asks, Who's in charge around here? Like, buddy, we're all just trying to survive this nine-to-five rollercoaster; there is no captain, just a bunch of passengers pretending to know where we're going.

The New Guy

You ever notice the new guy always has a super organized desk? It's like he's auditioning for the role of the Neat Freak in the office sitcom. Meanwhile, my desk looks like a crime scene from a paper tornado.

The New Guy

They say the new guy brings fresh ideas to the team. Yeah, like how to properly microwave fish in the office kitchen without causing a riot. Thanks, but we prefer our workplace without the scent of a maritime disaster.

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