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Whoever taught me that patience is a virtue clearly never had to sit through a buffering video on a slow internet connection. I've got the patience of a saint until that spinning wheel shows up; then, it's all bets off!
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I was taught to always be polite and say "please" and "thank you." Now, as an adult, I've realized those magic words are just the secret handshake to functioning in society. If only they worked at the DMV...
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You know you're an adult when you catch yourself using phrases your parents taught you, and you're like, "Wait, did I just become my dad? I mean, I can't even fix a leaky faucet, but sure, I've got the 'dad jokes' down!
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They say your parents taught you everything you know, but they never warned me about the real-world pop quizzes. Like when someone hands me a complicated form and expects me to fill it out correctly. That's when I realize my education was missing the "adulting 101" chapter.
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Growing up, my parents taught me that money doesn't grow on trees. Now, I'm beginning to suspect they were onto something, especially when my bank account resembles a barren wasteland.
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You know you've reached adulthood when you get excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. I mean, who knew there could be so much joy in an absorbent piece of foam? Adulting is weird.
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My parents taught me about the importance of a balanced diet. But I'm pretty sure they didn't mean balancing a pizza slice in one hand and a burger in the other. Well, at least I'm keeping things in equilibrium.
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My parents taught me to always check for expiration dates. Now, I apply that lesson to friendships. If someone starts showing signs of going sour, it's time to toss them out, just like expired milk.
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As a kid, I was taught not to talk to strangers. But as an adult, I find myself exchanging life stories with my Uber driver like we're old pals. I guess the rules change when someone else is responsible for getting you home safely.
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