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The Borrower
Constantly borrowing without returning
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My friend borrowed my lawnmower the other day. I asked when they'd return it, and they said, "As soon as I finish mowing my imaginary lawn." Well, now I'm wondering if I should charge rent for my lawnmower's extended vacation.
The Memory Bandit
Borrowing memories and forgetting to return them
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I lent my friend the memory of my last birthday party. Now when I try to recall it, it's like watching a movie with someone constantly hitting the pause button. "Oh, you wanted to remember blowing out the candles? Too bad, I'm holding that frame hostage.
The Sleep Thief
Stealing sleep, intentionally or unintentionally
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I tried sleeping on a water bed once. Turns out it wasn't a water bed; it was just my friend who spilled a glass of water and forgot to tell me. I woke up feeling like a shipwreck survivor.
The Time Traveler
Borrowing things from the past or future
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I borrowed a recipe book from the future, and now I'm trying to cook meals with ingredients that haven't been invented yet. Let's just say, my attempt at "Quantum Quiche" didn't exactly earn me a Michelin star.
The Office Thief
Stealing office supplies like a pro
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Our office is so paranoid about people stealing supplies that they've started chaining the staplers to the desks. Now, every time I need to staple something, it feels like I'm breaking into Fort Knox. I just want to attach two pieces of paper, not plan a grand heist.
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