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Joke Types
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Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? He was outstanding in his field of promises!
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Why did the scarecrow get promoted at work? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts, and it's hard to get a leg up!
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Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with!
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Why did the broom go to school? To sweep up some knowledge and get a little stiffer in the bristles!
Stiff Meeting Protocol
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I attended a business meeting, and there was this guy who sat so stiffly that I thought he might be part of the furniture. Every time the boss asked a question, he raised his hand like he was auditioning for the role of Guy Who Takes Corporate Meetings Too Seriously. Dude, it's not a courtroom; you can put your hand down.
Stiff at the Party
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You ever go to a party where everyone's mingling, and there's that one person standing in the corner like a human coat rack? They're so stiff; I bet if you threw a handful of spaghetti at them, it would stick. Maybe they're auditioning for the role of the party decoration – Stiff Statue: Bringing Awkwardness to Social Gatherings Near You.
The Stiffest Hug Award
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I hugged someone the other day, and I swear it felt like I was hugging a robot. I thought they were malfunctioning or needed a software update. If hugs were an Olympic sport, this person would win the gold in the Stiffest Hug category. Note to self: next time, opt for a handshake or a high-five – less chance of feeling like I'm embracing a mannequin.
The Stiff Handshake Debacle
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You ever have those handshakes that feel like you're participating in a medieval arm-wrestling tournament? I shook hands with this guy, and it was like engaging in a battle of wills. I'm just trying to greet you, not arm-wrestle for the last piece of pizza. Next time, I'm bringing a referee to these encounters.
The Stiff Situation
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You ever notice how some people are just so stiff? I mean, I've seen scarecrows with more fluidity than these folks. They walk like they've got a plank strapped to their back and a stick... somewhere else. I tried to give one of them a high-five once, and it felt like I was hitting a brick wall. Maybe they're auditioning for the role of a human mannequin; I don't know.
Stiff Competition at the Yoga Class
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I decided to try a yoga class the other day, thinking it would be a great way to relax. But oh boy, I must've accidentally walked into the Stiff-as-a-Board Yoga Challenge. People were holding poses like they were auditioning for a frozen statue contest. I swear, I bent over to touch my toes, and the person next to me called it a contortion act.
Stiff Dancers Anonymous
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I went to a dance class last week, and there was this guy who danced like he had two left feet made of concrete. It was like he was doing the robot, but not the cool futuristic robot, more like the outdated Windows '98 screensaver. Someone get that man a WD-40 for his joints or at least a dance manual from this century!
Stiff and Proud
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I met someone who proudly claimed they were the stiffest person in town. I didn't know whether to congratulate them or suggest a good massage therapist. I mean, if that's a talent, sign me up for the Can't Touch My Toes Olympics. I'll take home the gold, or at least a participation ribbon for effort.
Stiff Drinks and Stiffer Neighbors
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I recently threw a party, and my neighbor showed up. You know the type - the guy who takes a sip of his drink and suddenly acts like he's auditioning for a role in a period drama. I offered him a shot, and he looked at it like it was a potion from Harry Potter. Dude, it's not a potion; it's tequila! Loosen up, Mr. Downton Abbey.
Stiff in the Elevator
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I got into an elevator the other day, and there was this person in there who seemed to be practicing their impersonation of a mannequin. I pressed the button, and they stood so still that I thought I accidentally pressed the pause button on life. Maybe they were trying to conserve energy or auditioning for the next Marvel superhero – Captain Stiffness, defender of unmoved muscles.
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