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I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!
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I tried to fold my mattress in half to save space. Now it's a futon, and I'm sleeping with a stiff back!
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
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My friend bet me $20 that I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on his face as I drove pasta!
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I asked my friend if he wanted to hear a joke about construction. He told me to build it up slowly; he's a bit stiff when it comes to humor!
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