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I asked Stewart Francis for a joke about vegetables. He said, 'Lettuce romaine friends, but kale never be celery.
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I told Stewart Francis I could make a belt out of watches. He said, 'That's a real 'hands-on' fashion choice!
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I asked Stewart Francis if he believes in ghosts. He said, 'No, but I'm open to spectral negotiations.
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I told Stewart Francis I could make a belt out of watches. He said, 'That sounds like a real 'timely' fashion statement!
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I asked Stewart Francis if he believes in time travel. He said, 'I used to, but then it's all in the past.
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I asked Stewart Francis if he could make a belt out of watches. He said, 'I tried, but it was a waist of time!
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I told Stewart Francis I could make a car out of spaghetti. He didn't believe me until I drove pasta!
Stewart Francis
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Ladies and gentlemen, I recently discovered that my ghost writer's favorite comedian is Stewart Francis. Now, I don't know about you, but hiring a comedy ghost writer who loves puns is like hiring a personal trainer who's a fan of elevators. I'm getting a workout, but I'm not going anywhere!
Stewart Francis
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I tried to tell my ghost writer that I wanted jokes that appeal to a broad audience. He said, Stewart Francis has a broad appeal! Well, if by broad appeal he means making my grandma roll her eyes so hard she sees her own brain, then mission accomplished.
Stewart Francis
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I told my ghost writer to think outside the box. He said, Stewart Francis already did - he calls it a 'joke.' Well, I want my jokes to be so far outside the box that they need GPS to find their way back!
Stewart Francis
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I told my ghost writer that I wanted punchlines that hit hard. He said, Stewart Francis hits harder than a punchline on steroids! Well, I don't want jokes that need a disclaimer; I want jokes that make people laugh, not check their pulse!
Stewart Francis
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My ghost writer claims Stewart Francis is a genius because he can turn any situation into a joke. I tested him with a funeral scenario, and he said, Why be sad when you can bury your sorrows with a punchline? I think I'll stick to traditional condolences, thanks.
Stewart Francis
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I asked my ghost writer for jokes that are timeless. He said, Stewart Francis's jokes are so timeless; they make the Stone Age look like yesterday! Well, I don't want jokes that have been around since the dinosaurs; I want material fresher than yesterday's leftovers!
Stewart Francis
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I told my ghost writer to think about my unique style. He said, Stewart Francis is the definition of unique! Unique, huh? If every comedian followed his style, we'd have a world full of people making puns and no one left to laugh. Sounds like a nightmare, not a comedy show!
Stewart Francis
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I asked my ghost writer for some edgy material. He said, Stewart Francis is as edgy as it gets! Edgy? I want jokes that cut through the tension like a hot knife through butter, not ones that make me question if I accidentally stumbled into a dad joke convention.
Stewart Francis
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You know you've hit a comedy goldmine when your ghost writer starts every sentence with Stewart Francis once said... I'm starting to think I'm not paying for original jokes; I'm just financing Stewart Francis's retirement plan!
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