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The Paranoid Chef
Always thinking the vegetables have a vendetta against him.
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His kitchen is like a vegetable war zone. Last night, the broccoli tried to stage a coup, but the potatoes mashed their plans.
The Conspiracy Theorist Librarian
Believing that overdue library books are part of a vast conspiracy.
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I found her in the library basement surrounded by old books, chanting, "The overdue fines are funding the illuminati!" I just wanted to renew my library card.
The Time-Traveling Stand-Up Comedian
Trying to make historical jokes without changing the course of history.
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I told a caveman a knock-knock joke. He stared at me blankly. Guess he was waiting for someone to invent the door.
The Paranormal Fitness Instructor
Trying to make ghostly gains in a world of physical limitations.
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The other day, he suggested a séance as a warm-up. I said, "Can't we just stick to jumping jacks? I'm not trying to summon a six-pack of abs.
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