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Why did Stephen bring a ladder to the comedy club? He wanted to reach new heights of laughter!
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Why did Stephen bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
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I told Stephen he should be a gardener. He has a natural talent for 'growing' on people!
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Why did Stephen take a ladder to work? Because he heard it was the next step in his career!
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I told Stephen he should start a bakery. He's already a pro at rolling with the dough!
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Why did Stephen wear a coat to the math test? Because it was degrees outside!
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Why did Stephen become a gardener? Because he wanted to 'grow' through life!
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I asked Stephen about his love life. He said he's on a seafood diet: he sees food, and he eats it. I guess that's the kind of commitment we can expect, folks. Ladies, get ready for dinner and a disappearing act.
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Stephen told me he's a thrill-seeker. Last time he went bungee jumping, he asked, 'Is the cord gluten-free?' Safety first, Stephen. Even if it means questioning the dietary preferences of inanimate objects!
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Stephen tried to impress me with his cooking skills. He said he makes a killer omelet. Turns out, it's just a scrambled egg with commitment issues. Call it what it is, Stephen, an egg-catastrophe!
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Stephen tried to convince me he's a great dancer. I watched him do the robot. Not the cool futuristic robot; more like the 'I need an oil change' kind of robot. Sorry, Stephen, you're more of a Roomba than a dancer.
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Stephen's idea of a wild night out is switching from decaf to regular coffee after 6 PM. Hold on, Stephen, slow down! We don't want any heart palpitations disrupting your thrilling evening of Sudoku.
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Stephen, the guy who can never decide if he's a Steve or a Stefan. Dude, make up your mind! It's like he's stuck in a perpetual identity crisis. Maybe we should just call him Schrödinger's Stephen.
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Stephen thinks he's a smooth talker. He told me he could sell ice to Eskimos. I said, 'Dude, they invented igloos. They're not falling for your ice cubes.' Nice try, though, Stephen, A for effort.
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Stephen says he's a fitness freak. I saw him at the gym once. He was on the treadmill, scrolling through a pizza delivery app. Stephen, that's not how you burn calories! That's how you order them!
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I told Stephen he's a unique individual. He said, 'I know, right? I'm the only person who can get lost in a round room.' Stephen, that's not a unique skill; that's just basic geometry failure!
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