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Why did the spy always bring a pencil to the mission? In case he had to draw his weapon!
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Why do spies make terrible stand-up comedians? Because they always bomb!
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Why did the spy bring a ladder to the mission? Because he wanted to take espionage to the next level!
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Why did the spy bring a notebook to the spy party? To keep track of all the classified information!
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I tried to impress my date by taking her to a spy-themed restaurant. Turns out, it was so secret even Google Maps couldn't find it!
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Ever notice how spy gadgets in movies are incredibly high-tech, but in real life, it's just an endless array of hidden cameras disguised as mundane objects? I'm starting to feel paranoid about my toaster.
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Spies and toddlers have a lot in common. Both are experts at gathering information, both have a knack for disappearing at the most inconvenient times, and both are surprisingly skilled in the art of espionage.
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I don't understand why spies bother with disguises. If they just wore 'I'm not a spy' T-shirts, no one would suspect a thing!
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If I were a spy, I'd be the one always getting caught because I'd forget the secret handshake. 'Oh, sorry, I thought you were doing the Macarena.'
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I've always wondered how spies stay in shape. I mean, do they have a secret agent gym where they practice stealth workouts? 'Today's mission: 007 squats and covert cardio!'
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You know you've watched too many spy movies when you start suspecting your pet goldfish is secretly working for a covert agency. I mean, those constant bubbles? Suspicious.
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I think my neighbor is a spy. He keeps asking me for my Wi-Fi password but won't share his. Definitely gathering intel.
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Spies must have the best poker faces. Me? I can't even hide my disappointment when the pizza place forgets my extra cheese.
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