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Let's wrap this up with one more memorable speech. Do you guys remember the college admissions scandal? Aunt Becky from Full House got caught bribing her kid's way into college. I mean, seriously, if you're going to cheat, at least be discreet about it. She might as well have walked into the admissions office with a bag of money and a sign that said, "Take my kid, please!" And the best part was the fake sports profiles they created for the kids. I can't wait for the day when one of those kids tries to join a real sports team. "Yeah, I was a star rower in college." "Oh, really? Can you row us out of this financial crisis? That would be impressive.
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You guys remember 2019, right? Yeah, it feels like a lifetime ago. We had some iconic speeches back then. I mean, who can forget Greta Thunberg's powerful "How dare you!" at the UN Climate Action Summit? I watched that and thought, "I can't even get my dog to stop barking, and this girl is trying to save the planet." And then there was that moment when Elon Musk unveiled the Cybertruck. I swear, that thing looks like it's straight out of a futuristic video game. I was waiting for him to pull out a cheat code to make it fly or something. "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Tesla takes off!
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Let's talk about political speeches. We had candidates trying to outdo each other with promises. Remember when Joe Biden said, "We choose truth over facts"? I thought I misheard it. I mean, who needs facts anyway? I've been living my life based on gut feelings, and let me tell you, my gut is not a reliable source. And don't even get me started on the debates. It was like a rap battle without the rhythm. They were throwing shade left and right. I half expected someone to drop the mic and walk off stage. "I'm sorry, Anderson Cooper, I can't do this anymore. I'm out!
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But the real MVP of 2019 speeches was none other than Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes. That man roasted Hollywood like it was a Thanksgiving turkey. He had that "I don't care" attitude that we all wish we could channel at family gatherings. "Uncle Bob, I appreciate your opinion, but nobody asked for it." And when Ricky told everyone to stop with the political speeches, I felt that. I watch award shows to escape reality, not get a lecture on geopolitics. Imagine if every job had acceptance speeches. "And the award for Employee of the Month goes to Karen from HR, who wants to share her thoughts on the current state of the office coffee machine.
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