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What's a saguaro's favorite party game? Pin the thorn on the tumbleweed!
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How do cowboys in the southwest keep their jeans up? With an unbuckle belt!
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What do you call a cactus in the southwest who can't keep a secret? A prickly blabbermouth!
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Why did the cowboy bring a ladder to the southwest? He heard the food was up high!
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What did the saguaro say to the tumbleweed? Stop rolling around, you're making me dizzy!
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What do you call a chili pepper with a great sense of humor? A hot joke-a-leno!
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Flying on Southwest is like speed dating for seatmates. You're stuck together for a few hours, and by the end, you're either best friends or considering witness protection.
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Southwest has this open-seating policy, which means you're not just choosing a seat; you're playing musical chairs with a plane. I've never seen so many adults eyeing each other like, 'Is that my armrest or yours?'
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Southwest pilots are the real multitaskers. Not only do they fly the plane, but they're also part-time comedians. 'Folks, we'll be cruising at 35,000 feet, and if you look out your window, you might see my hopes and dreams passing by.'
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Southwest is all about group boarding. It's like being in a bizarre high school reunion where everyone is either too eager or too disinterested to acknowledge each other. 'Oh, hey, Chad from Zone 4! I didn't see you there. Or care.'
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You know you're on a Southwest flight when the flight attendant starts doing stand-up comedy at 30,000 feet. 'Ladies and gentlemen, if this plane's a-rockin', it's just turbulence... or our pilot has a new mixtape.'
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The first rule of Southwest Club: Don't talk about the empty middle seat next to you. If you do, it magically disappears, and suddenly, you're in a sardine can with wings.
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Southwest Airlines: where legroom is a myth, but the laughter is real. I've never felt more united with strangers in my desire for more space and fewer dad jokes.
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Boarding a Southwest flight is the closest I'll ever get to experiencing the Hunger Games. May the odds be ever in your favor when it comes to finding overhead bin space.
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On Southwest, they say 'Bags Fly Free.' Well, so do the snacks. I accidentally sent my pretzels airborne, and they ended up in a dogfight with someone's peanuts. It was a salty skirmish.
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