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Why did Sonia become a detective? She had a knack for solving 'puzzle pieces'!
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Why did Sonia bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did Sonia bring a pencil to the comedy club? In case she wanted to draw some laughs!
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Why did Sonia start a band with vegetables? She wanted to turnip the beet!
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Why did Sonia take a ladder to the coffee shop? Because she heard the coffee was always a little high!
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Why did Sonia become a gardener? Because she wanted to 'grow' on people!
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Why did Sonia bring a suitcase to the restaurant? In case they had a doggy bag special!
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Sonia tries to be reassuring, like a life coach for lost drivers. 'Recalculating... you're not lost, just taking the scenic route to self-discovery.' Thanks, Sonia, but I'd prefer self-discovery without a side of road rage.
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I asked Sonia for the fastest route, and she said, 'Avoid traffic by flying.' Oh, great idea, Sonia! Let me just sprout wings and join the ranks of the avian commuters. Next, she'll be suggesting I take a left at the rainbow to find a pot of gold.
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I asked Sonia for directions, and she said, 'Turn right at the big tree.' Well, Sonia, last time I checked, this city has more trees than a squirrel's dream board. I need a bit more specificity, like maybe GPS-level specificity.
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Sonia is like a fortune teller for my car. 'In 500 feet, you will find enlightenment... or a Taco Bell, whichever comes first.'
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Sonia, my GPS's evil twin. Instead of guiding me, it takes me on a scenic route through cornfields and back alleys. I think it's secretly in cahoots with the cows.
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I think Sonia is secretly auditioning for a horror movie. 'In 300 feet, turn left into the abyss.' No, thank you, Sonia, I'll stick to well-lit roads with actual signs.
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Sonia and I have a love-hate relationship. She loves taking me on detours, and I hate being late. It's like she's in a secret competition to see how well my car handles off-roading.
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I swear Sonia has a twisted sense of humor. She takes me through construction zones and traffic jams and then sweetly says, 'You have arrived at your destination.' Yeah, Sonia, my destination is stress and a slightly elevated blood pressure.
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Sonia, the only voice that can make 'recalculating' sound like 'I told you so.' She's got that passive-aggressive navigation style, making you question your life choices with every turn.
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