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You ever notice how song lyrics are like life advice from someone who's probably not qualified to give any? "I will survive" sounds empowering until you try singing it to your boss when they hand you a new project on a Friday afternoon.
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I was listening to a love song the other day, and the guy sang, "I can't live without you." I thought, "Dude, it's a bit dramatic, don't you think? Ever heard of oxygen? Water? Wi-Fi? I could live without you, but my phone battery can't.
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You know you're getting old when you start listening to the lyrics of the songs you loved as a teenager. I used to sing along to "Sweet Child o' Mine" without a care in the world. Now I'm like, "Wait, is this song about someone's actual sweet child or a metaphorical one? Did Axl Rose just miss his mom's cooking?
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You know a song has made an impact when it becomes your life's soundtrack. I'm just waiting for the day I can confidently say, "My life is a mixtape," instead of, "My life is on shuffle, and I don't know what's coming next.
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Have you ever tried to impress someone by dedicating a song to them? It's all fun and games until you choose a song with lyrics that, upon reflection, make you look like a stalker. "Every Breath You Take" by The Police may not be the best choice for a first date dedication.
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You ever hear a song lyric that's so relatable, you think, "Did the songwriter spy on my life?" Then you remember they probably wrote the song years ago, and you just caught up to their level of dysfunction.
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Have you noticed that the best dance songs have the most questionable advice? I was grooving to a tune that said, "Don't stop believing." Well, I believed I could dance. Let's just say my friends now believe I need dance lessons.
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Song lyrics are the only place where people seem to have no trouble expressing their feelings. If only real-life conversations were as straightforward. Imagine telling your boss, "I feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, wanting to start again" during your performance review.
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I find it fascinating how in songs, they can make heartbreak sound poetic. In real life, it's more like ugly crying in your pajamas while eating ice cream straight from the carton. Not quite the romantic movie montage they sing about.
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