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The DIY Enthusiast
Turning Pinterest dreams into real-life nightmares
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I tried to impress my friends by making handmade soap. The result? They now question whether I understand the basic principles of cleanliness. My soap looks more like modern art than a hygiene product. At least it smells like lavender failure.
The Fitness Newbie
Trying to fit into a gym culture while being a fitness amateur
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I bought a fitness tracker, thinking it would motivate me. Instead, it just reminds me that I've taken 2,000 steps today and burned 10 calories. That's one french fry. I could've just skipped the gym and had a salad with dressing!
The Healthy Eater in a Fast Food Nation
Navigating salad choices in a world of burgers and fries
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Have you ever tried ordering a salad at a fast-food place? It's like bringing a yoga mat to a heavy metal concert. Everyone looks at you like, "What are you doing here?" I'm just trying to balance my kale intake in a world of grease and regret.
The Sleepy Pet Owner
Balancing pet love and sleep deprivation
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I tried explaining to my cat that 3 a.m. is not the ideal moment for a staring contest. She's convinced it's prime time for a philosophical debate about the meaning of life, and I'm just trying to figure out how many hours of sleep I can squeeze in before the sunrise.
The Tech-Challenged Millennial
Navigating the digital age with a 90s soul
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I miss the days when we had to physically rewind a cassette tape with a pencil. Kids today will never know the struggle of trying to impress your crush by making them a mixtape and accidentally recording over your parents' anniversary celebration. "Nothing says love like '80s power ballads,' right?
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