bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
Snitching isn't just a street code thing; it's everywhere. I discovered this when I was working in an office. We had this communal snack drawer, you know, the one where everyone pretends they don't eat from but secretly relies on. One day, I saw someone raiding the snack drawer and taking way more than their fair share. Now, I had a dilemma. Do I snitch on them and be the office hero, or do I keep quiet and let the snack injustice prevail?
I decided to be the hero. I went to the boss and said, "Listen, we've got a snack bandit on the loose!" I thought I was doing the right thing, but turns out, people are very passionate about their snacks. I became the office pariah, the Judas of the breakroom.
So, now I'm just sitting there at my desk, surrounded by a sea of angry snack-deprived colleagues, and I'm thinking, "Man, maybe I should've just turned a blind eye and enjoyed my secret stash of Twinkies in peace.
0
0
We're living in an era where even our gadgets are snitches. Have you ever accidentally butt-dialed someone and revealed your top-secret, highly embarrassing conversation? Yeah, that's modern technology snitching on us! I had this experience recently. I was talking to a friend about a surprise party we were planning for someone, and guess what? My phone decided to be an overachiever and dial the person we were throwing the party for! I couldn't snatch the phone back fast enough.
And now, thanks to my phone, the surprise was ruined. The person calls me back, and I'm trying to play it cool, like, "Oh, surprise party? What surprise party? I was just, uh, talking about a surprise party for someone else, totally unrelated."
So, now I have trust issues with my own phone. I swear, Siri is out there plotting against me, trying to spill the beans on all my secrets.
0
0
You ever notice how people are always talking about "snitching" like it's the ultimate sin? I mean, seriously, it's like there's a Snitching Olympics, and everyone's trying to avoid winning the gold medal! I grew up with this idea that snitching was the worst thing you could do. It was like a code of silence. But let me tell you, keeping secrets is tough! I tried being a good friend and not snitching once, and it nearly killed me. I felt like I was walking around with a classified government document in my pocket.
So, I tried to do the right thing, you know? I kept this secret, but then I realized something: secrets are like cats. They don't like to stay hidden. They always find a way to sneak out, and suddenly you're the one in trouble for just knowing too much.
And don't get me started on the people who say, "Snitches get stitches." I'm over here thinking, "Do stitches cover therapy bills? Because I might need some counseling after holding in all these secrets!
0
0
You know, snitching even happens in families. Growing up, my siblings were expert snitches. If you wanted to keep a secret from your parents, you had to make sure your siblings weren't within a five-mile radius. I remember trying to plan a surprise for my parents once. I told my sister, "Hey, don't say anything about the surprise party, okay?" And she goes, "Sure, I won't say anything."
Guess what happened the next day? My parents were thanking my sister for helping organize the surprise party! I couldn't believe it. I asked her, "What happened to keeping secrets?" She just shrugged and said, "I thought they should know."
So, yeah, snitching runs deep, even in the family. You can't trust anyone, not even your own flesh and blood, to keep a secret. It's like living in a real-life episode of a soap opera, but with fewer dramatic pauses and way more eye-rolling.
Post a Comment