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The Professional Snitch
When snitching is your day job.
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I got a promotion at work recently. I'm now the chief executive snitch. My business card says, "If you're doing something wrong, I already know about it.
The Paranoid Snitch
When you're convinced everyone is out to get you.
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I'm not saying the walls have ears, but last night, I caught them taking notes when I was confessing to my refrigerator about finishing the last piece of cake.
The Reluctant Snitch
When you know too much but don't want to say anything.
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Being a snitch is like being in a bad relationship. You're always looking over your shoulder, wondering if today is the day they'll find out you've been talking to other detectives.
The Accidental Snitch
When you spill the beans without realizing it.
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I need a sign around my neck that says, "Caution: May Snitch Without Warning." It's like my mouth has its own crime hotline.
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