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In a ski lodge, your socks go missing faster than your dignity on the bunny slope. Seriously, I walked in with a pair, and now I'm leaving with one lonely sock, questioning the mysteries of the universe.
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Ski lodges have the weirdest interior design. It's like they hired a bear to be the decorator. "Let's go with a theme: wood, more wood, and just a hint of wood.
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Ski lodge bathrooms are like escape rooms for your bladder. You have to navigate through layers of thermal clothing just to reach the toilet. By the time you're done, you've earned a black belt in winter bathroom survival.
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Ski lodges have this magical ability to make hot chocolate taste 10 times better. I don't know if it's the altitude or the fact that I paid $8 for it, but suddenly I'm sipping that cocoa like it's the elixir of life.
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At ski lodges, they always have those signs saying, "No outside food or drinks." I'm sorry, but if I'm paying $15 for a hot dog, I'm bringing my grandma's secret hot sauce in my pocket. Let them try to stop me – I've got condiment rebellion on my side.
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You ever try to put on ski gear in a lodge? It's like trying to squeeze into a spacesuit in a phone booth. By the time you're done, you've already burned all the calories you planned on skiing off.
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You ever notice how ski lodges are like the VIP section of winter? It's like, "Yeah, I'm so cool, I don't just do winter, I do winter with valet parking.
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Ever notice how ski lodge Wi-Fi is like a secret society? They give you the password, but only after you prove yourself worthy by reciting the names of all the chairlifts in alphabetical order.
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Ski lodge elevators are like time machines. You step in, and suddenly you're transported to a world where everyone looks like they just walked off a magazine cover, and nobody knows how to properly use ski poles.
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