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Why did Freud never become a magician? He didn't want to deal with repressed abracadabras!
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Why did Freud become a gardener? He wanted to dig into the roots of the unconscious!
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Did you hear about Freud's favorite fruit? It's the subconscious banana!
Freud's Grocery Shopping
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I tried Freudian grocery shopping once. I asked the cashier, What does it say about my id that I'm buying both ice cream and kale? She just looked at me and said, Sir, it says you're an adult trying to balance pleasure and responsibility.
Freud's Gardening Tips
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Freud's gardening advice: Remember, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but a rose? That's an entirely different story. It's your mother's love blooming in the garden of your subconscious.
Freud and the Lost Keys
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You know you're in deep psychoanalysis when you lose your car keys, and Freud is like, Well, sometimes a key is just a key, but let's explore your subconscious attachment issues to keyholes.
Freud at the Comedy Club
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Freud would have made a terrible stand-up comedian. Can you imagine his punchline? Why did the chicken cross the road? To explore its repressed desire for the other side, of course!
Freud's Dating Advice
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Dating in Freud's time must have been a nightmare. Imagine asking him for advice: So, doc, how do I impress a girl? Freud would lean back, stroke his beard, and say, Well, it all begins with your unresolved Oedipus complex.
Freud's Pet Psychology
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I asked Freud for advice on training my dog. He said, It's simple. Reward positive behavior, but be cautious if your dog starts developing a fascination with chew toys shaped like miniature therapists.
Freud's Cooking Show
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If Freud had a cooking show, it would be called The Unconscious Chef. Today, we're making a dish called Repressed Memories Soufflé. Be careful not to let it collapse, just like your emotional barriers.
Freud's Text Messaging
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Freud would have hated texting. Imagine him analyzing a message: Your friend sent a smiley face. What does it mean? Is it a genuine expression of joy or a passive-aggressive attempt to conceal deep-seated resentment?
Freud's Coffee Order
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Freud at a coffee shop: I'll have a grande latte, extra foam, and a side of unresolved childhood issues, please.
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