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I asked my shoulder if it wanted a promotion. It said, 'I'm already head and shoulders above the rest!
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My shoulder tried stand-up comedy, but the audience found it a bit stiff!
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I asked my shoulder if it wanted a break. It said, 'Don't dislocate my plans!
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I told my shoulder it needs to carry its weight. It shrugged off the advice!
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My shoulder and neck are having a competition. It's a real head-to-shoulder showdown!
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I tried to be friends with my shoulder, but it kept giving me the cold shoulder!
Shoulder Responsibility: The Original GPS
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Shoulders have this incredible built-in GPS system. You think Siri is impressive? Nah, my shoulders know exactly where they're going. Left turn at the fridge, straight through the living room, and a slight detour to the couch. Who needs Google Maps when you've got shoulder instincts?
Shoulder Blades: Nature's Built-In Drum Kit
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Who needs a drummer when you've got shoulder blades? I discovered this the other day when I was trying to sneak out of a family gathering quietly. Turns out, my shoulder blades are percussion prodigies. I call it the Stealthy Shimmy Symphony.
Shoulder Checks: The Secret Weapon of Awkward Conversations
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You know when someone's standing too close, and you're not sure how to create personal space? Shoulder checks, my friends. A subtle nudge, and suddenly, you've reclaimed your territory. It's the passive-aggressive dance move we've all been missing.
Shoulder Pads: The '80s Gift That Keeps on Lurking
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Shoulder pads, the fashion trend that just won't quit. I swear, I thought I saw someone the other day rocking a pair so massive, they could have doubled as Wi-Fi hotspots. I guess in the '80s, they weren't just dressing for success; they were dressing for better reception.
Shoulders: The Real MVPs of Hugging
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Let's give it up for shoulders, the unsung heroes of hugs. Without them, hugs would just be awkward collisions of torsos. Shoulders bring structure, symmetry, and that perfect squeeze. So next time you hug someone, remember to thank your shoulders for making it a masterpiece.
Shoulder Workouts: Because Flexing Your Elbows is Overrated
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I've started a new fitness trend: shoulder workouts only. Forget about biceps and triceps; it's all about the shoulder flex. I call it the Deltoid Dozen. You won't be able to lift your arms afterward, but hey, at least you'll look like you could take flight at any moment.
Shoulder Taps: The Original Social Media Notification
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Back in the day, if you wanted someone's attention, you gave them a shoulder tap. No fancy notifications, no buzzing in your pocket—just a good ol' physical tap on the shoulder. It was like being followed by a real-life PokeMon.
Shoulder Impressions: The Art of Human Silhouettes
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You ever try making shadow puppets with your shoulders? It's a whole new level of artistic expression. I've got a killer giraffe impression. Of course, it helps if you're in a dimly lit room with a really vivid imagination.
Shoulder: Nature's Built-In Coat Hanger
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Have you ever noticed that shoulders are like the original coat hangers? I mean, who needs a closet when you've got these two trusty hooks attached to your body? Forget about fancy hangers; I've got the deluxe model right here, complete with a rotating feature for those hard-to-reach places!
Shoulders: The Unsung Heroes of the Shrug Movement
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You know, the shrug is the ultimate expression of indifference, and your shoulders are doing all the heavy lifting—literally. It's like they're saying, I don't know, I don't care, but hey, I've got your back... and your front!
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