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Congregation's Conundrum
Resisting change while secretly using dating apps during the sermon
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The pastor said, "Let's welcome change with open arms!" Meanwhile, I'm just trying to discreetly update my wardrobe from 2005. Baby steps, Pastor, baby steps.
Church Gossip's Grapevine
Spreading rumors about the pastor's "radical" changes
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I overheard the pastor say, "We need a fresh start." Does that mean he's finally replacing the church potluck mystery casserole with something edible?
Pastor's Perspective
Preaching change, but the church still uses flip phones
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I asked the tech team for a wireless mic to preach about change. They handed me a corded one. Apparently, the only wireless thing in this church is the mysterious Wi-Fi signal that nobody can find.
Church Choir's Harmony
Trying to adapt to modern worship songs, but the sheet music still says "Amen"
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Trying to blend contemporary and traditional worship, we're singing "Amazing Grace" to the tune of "Baby Got Back." I never thought I'd hear "How sweet the sound" with a hip-hop beat, but here we are.
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