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You know you're a scuba diver when you start judging fish for not practicing proper social distancing. "Hey, Mr. Clownfish, six feet apart, please! We're in a pandemic, even underwater!
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The hardest part about scuba diving is trying to look cool while wearing a wetsuit. It's like trying to impress the fish with your fashion sense, but all they see is a floating Michelin Man attempting a moonwalk underwater.
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I tried scuba diving once, and they handed me this mask that covers my entire face. I felt like I was auditioning for a role in the next underwater superhero movie. Forget Spider-Man, call me Scuba Steve!
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Scuba divers always talk about the incredible colors of the coral reefs, but let me tell you, when I tried it, everything was just various shades of blue and green. Maybe I need a prescription dive mask for the technicolor ocean experience.
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You ever notice how scuba divers are like the real-life astronauts of the ocean? I mean, they put on these elaborate suits, dive into the abyss, and come back with tales of mysterious creatures. Meanwhile, I struggle not to drown in my bathtub.
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Scuba diving is the only sport where you're not allowed to talk, and I get it. I mean, can you imagine trying to have a deep conversation about life while sounding like Darth Vader underwater? "Luke, I am your father... glub glub.
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Scuba diving is the only situation where it's perfectly acceptable to give someone the "okay" signal when you're actually not okay. I've never seen so many people respond to potential danger with a thumbs up. I'm starting to think scuba divers might be secretly in a perpetual state of panic.
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Scuba diving is like reverse skydiving. Instead of falling from the sky to the ground, you sink from the surface to the depths. I guess it's a way of saying, "Let's switch things up a bit – gravity, you take a break, and buoyancy, you're up!
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Scuba diving is like entering a whole new world beneath the surface. It's magical until you accidentally swim into a school of fish, and suddenly you're the uninvited guest crashing their underwater party. Awkward!
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