4 Jokes For Screwdriver

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jun 30 2025

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Let's talk about screwdrivers, specifically the Phillips head. Who came up with that design? I swear it's like trying to fit a key into a lock blindfolded. You know you're an adult when you start having strong opinions about screwdrivers. I mean, can we just collectively agree that the Phillips head is like the diva of the screwdriver world? It's always like, "I'll turn when I feel like it."
You're there, turning and turning, and suddenly it slips out. It's like playing a game of "Screwdriver Roulette." Will it tighten, or will it mockingly slip away, leaving you questioning your handyman abilities? I tell you, the day they design a foolproof screwdriver is the day I can finally retire from DIY projects.
I recently decided to organize my toolbox. You'd think it's a straightforward task, right? Wrong. It turns out, my toolbox is a black hole for screwdrivers. I'm convinced there's a secret society of screwdrivers in there, plotting their escape.
You start with a flathead and a Phillips neatly arranged, and next thing you know, they're having a party with the wrenches in the corner. And don't get me started on finding the right size. It's like playing a game of "Where's Waldo?" with metal tools. You need a magnifying glass just to decipher the tiny numbers. I'm telling you, the day I find a matching set without spending an hour searching is the day I'll have my toolbox museum-ready.
Have you ever noticed that screwdrivers disappear more frequently than socks in a laundry machine? It's like they have a magical power to vanish into thin air. I buy a set of screwdrivers, and within a week, half of them have mysteriously disappeared. I'm starting to suspect they have their own version of a Bermuda Triangle somewhere in the house.
I'll find them in the weirdest places, too. One in the fridge, another in the bathroom. I'm waiting for the day I discover a screwdriver in my cereal box. Maybe they're on a quest for adventure, exploring the unknown territories of my home. I should probably start a "Missing Screwdriver" poster campaign with a reward. Maybe then they'll stop eloping with each other and stick around for a change.
You ever decide to be Mr. Fix-It around the house? I recently attempted some home repairs. Yeah, I thought I could handle it. Armed with my toolbox and a confident attitude, I tackled a loose cabinet handle. I thought, "This is a piece of cake!" Little did I know, it would turn into a full-blown screwdriver saga.
I started turning that screw, feeling like a superhero fixing the world. But halfway through, the screwdriver slipped, and I ended up with a new ventilation hole in my thumb. Now I'm not just fixing cabinets; I'm performing emergency surgery on myself. Who knew a simple screwdriver could turn a peaceful Sunday afternoon into a scene from an action movie?

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