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The awkwardness of saying "hello" is directly proportional to how far away the person is. If they're across the street, it's a casual wave. If they're right in front of you, it's a full-on existential crisis.
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The universal struggle: trying to figure out if it's a one-kiss, two-kiss, or a hug situation. Saying "hello" has turned into a social minefield. We need a manual or, better yet, an app for that. "Hello Etiquette 101 – now available on your awkward encounters device!
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Why do we even bother saying "hello" on the phone? It's not like the person can see us waving. We could be wearing a superhero cape and they'd have no idea. "Hello, this is Captain Awkward speaking!
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You ever accidentally say "hello" to someone who's actually talking on a Bluetooth headset? Suddenly, you're part of their high-tech conversation. "Hello? Oh, sorry, I was just trying to order a pizza.
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The other day, I tried the whole "say hello to your neighbors" thing. Knocked on their door, and they looked at me like I was a time-traveling caveman. "Hello, neighbor!" I might as well have said, "Greetings, fellow Earthling!
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I tried the whole "say hello to strangers" thing, and now I have three new friends who think we're forming a neighborhood band. Turns out, saying "hello" comes with unexpected groupies.
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I hate those moments when you say "hello" to someone, and they don't hear you. You end up standing there like an idiot, caught in this strange limbo between repeating yourself and just walking away pretending you never said anything.
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Saying "hello" is like the opening credits of a conversation. It's all smiles and politeness, but you know the real drama is about to unfold. "Hello, how are you?" Translation: Brace yourself for a rollercoaster of awkwardness.
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You ever notice how saying "hello" has become this weird social dance? It's like a secret handshake we all learned as toddlers. "Hello!" "Hey!" "Hi!" We're basically just a bunch of grown-up toddlers still trying not to wet our pants.
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