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Salon mirrors are basically funhouse mirrors for adults. I sit down, and suddenly I'm faced with my reflection from a whole new angle, like, "Is that really what the back of my head looks like? Did I miss an entire ecosystem back there?
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Why do they always insist on washing your hair before cutting it? It's like going to a restaurant, ordering a sandwich, and the waiter saying, "Great choice! But first, let's hose you down in the kitchen sink.
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Going to the salon is like entering a parallel universe where small talk becomes an art form. "How's your day?" they ask as they wash your hair. And you're lying there thinking, "Well, it was great until I had to explain why I didn't like the weather today.
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Stylists love asking you if you're happy with your haircut while you're still wearing the cape of uncertainty. I'm sitting there thinking, "I don't know, let me take this stylish garbage bag off my shoulders first, and then we'll talk.
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Salons have that distinctive smell – a mix of chemicals, aspirations, and a hint of regret. You leave thinking, "I smell fantastic, but why do I suddenly have the urge to make impulsive life decisions?
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You know you're at the salon when you start questioning your entire existence while trying to make casual conversation. "So, what do you do for fun?" they ask. And you're like, "Existential crises mostly, but sometimes I watch Netflix.
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The moment you realize you forgot to mention you have no idea what "texturizing" means, and suddenly your hair has more layers than a Shakespearean drama. I just wanted a trim, not a performance of Hamlet on my head!
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Why do salon chairs have to be the most uncomfortable contraptions on Earth? They're like a torture device designed to make you regret every decision that led you to this point. "Yes, please, make my neck feel like it's doing yoga in all the wrong directions.
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Ever notice how hairdressers always seem to be part-time therapists? I'm just there for a trim, but suddenly I'm pouring out my life story. I didn't sign up for a haircut and emotional baggage combo!
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