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I heard a rumor that Santa Claus is on a diet. He's trying to lose a couple of jingle pounds!
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I heard a rumor that my friend can make a car out of spaghetti. You know, he's a real pasta mechanic!
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Why did the gossip magazine go broke? It couldn't keep up with all the rumors!
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I heard a rumor that the Earth is flat. Well, that's just plane ridiculous!
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Why don't rumors ever get along with math? Because they can't handle the division!
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Why did the grape stop hanging out with the raisins? It heard they were just spreading rumors!
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Did you hear about the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Rumors, the Unsolicited Gossip Subscription Service
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You ever hear about rumors? It's like signing up for the unsolicited gossip subscription service. I didn't ask for this drama, but here it is, delivered straight to my ears. I feel like I'm on the VIP list for the rumor mill, and I didn't even get a choice!
Rumors: Because Who Needs Facts When You Can Have Speculation?
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Rumors are like that friend who never fact-checks. They're just here for the drama, not accuracy. I heard a rumor once that I was an undercover spy. I wish! The most undercover I get is when I sneak snacks into the movie theater.
Rumors: The Social Media of the Pre-Internet Era
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Rumors are like the prehistoric version of social media. Back in the day, there were no hashtags, just whispers. If rumors were tweets, we'd all have been canceled by now. #RumorMillSurvivor
Rumors: The High-Stakes Game of Whispered Telephone
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Rumors are like a high-stakes game of whispered telephone. It starts with I heard you got a new job, and by the time it reaches the end, I'm apparently training squirrels for a synchronized swimming competition.
Rumor Mill: Where Accuracy Goes to Die
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The rumor mill – where accuracy goes to die. It's like a game of telephone, but instead of passing a message, they pass judgment. By the time it gets to the end, I've apparently won the lottery, lost all my hair, and become a professional trapeze artist.
Rumors: Because Knowing the Truth Is Overrated
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Who needs the truth when you can have rumors? I heard a rumor that laughter is the best medicine. If that's true, my stand-up career is saving lives one punchline at a time. Take that, WebMD!
Rumors: The Original Clickbait of Human Interaction
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Rumors are like the original clickbait. You hear a juicy tidbit, and suddenly, you're hooked. It's like a never-ending scroll through the gossip feed of life. I can't wait for the next big headline: Local Comedian Discovers Rumors Are Hilarious Material.
Rumors: The Olympic Sport of Jumping to Conclusions
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Rumors are the Olympic sport of jumping to conclusions. People don't need a runway; they just hear something and vault straight to the gold medal in assumption. I tried it once, but I pulled a muscle in my skepticism.
Rumors: The DIY Soap Opera of Everyday Life
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Rumors are like a do-it-yourself soap opera. I heard a rumor that my neighbor is secretly a ninja. If that's true, he's the worst ninja ever; I can hear him trying to quietly open a bag of chips at 2 AM.
Rumor Has It: I’m the Next Superhero, Captain Speculation!
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You know you've made it in life when there are rumors about you. I heard a rumor that I can fly. It turns out, it was just a really optimistic pigeon. I'm not a superhero; I'm just a person with an overactive imagination.
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