18 Jokes For Rumor

Puns

Updated on: Dec 02 2024

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I heard a rumor that Santa Claus is on a diet. He's trying to lose a couple of jingle pounds!
I tried to start a rumor about sugar, but it was too sweet to believe!
I heard a rumor that my friend can make a car out of spaghetti. You know, he's a real pasta mechanic!
Why did the gossip magazine go broke? It couldn't keep up with all the rumors!
I heard a rumor that the Earth is flat. Well, that's just plane ridiculous!
Why don't rumors ever get along with math? Because they can't handle the division!
Why did the grape stop hanging out with the raisins? It heard they were just spreading rumors!
Did you hear about the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!

Rumors, the Unsolicited Gossip Subscription Service

You ever hear about rumors? It's like signing up for the unsolicited gossip subscription service. I didn't ask for this drama, but here it is, delivered straight to my ears. I feel like I'm on the VIP list for the rumor mill, and I didn't even get a choice!

Rumors: Because Who Needs Facts When You Can Have Speculation?

Rumors are like that friend who never fact-checks. They're just here for the drama, not accuracy. I heard a rumor once that I was an undercover spy. I wish! The most undercover I get is when I sneak snacks into the movie theater.

Rumors: The Social Media of the Pre-Internet Era

Rumors are like the prehistoric version of social media. Back in the day, there were no hashtags, just whispers. If rumors were tweets, we'd all have been canceled by now. #RumorMillSurvivor

Rumors: The High-Stakes Game of Whispered Telephone

Rumors are like a high-stakes game of whispered telephone. It starts with I heard you got a new job, and by the time it reaches the end, I'm apparently training squirrels for a synchronized swimming competition.

Rumor Mill: Where Accuracy Goes to Die

The rumor mill – where accuracy goes to die. It's like a game of telephone, but instead of passing a message, they pass judgment. By the time it gets to the end, I've apparently won the lottery, lost all my hair, and become a professional trapeze artist.

Rumors: Because Knowing the Truth Is Overrated

Who needs the truth when you can have rumors? I heard a rumor that laughter is the best medicine. If that's true, my stand-up career is saving lives one punchline at a time. Take that, WebMD!

Rumors: The Original Clickbait of Human Interaction

Rumors are like the original clickbait. You hear a juicy tidbit, and suddenly, you're hooked. It's like a never-ending scroll through the gossip feed of life. I can't wait for the next big headline: Local Comedian Discovers Rumors Are Hilarious Material.

Rumors: The Olympic Sport of Jumping to Conclusions

Rumors are the Olympic sport of jumping to conclusions. People don't need a runway; they just hear something and vault straight to the gold medal in assumption. I tried it once, but I pulled a muscle in my skepticism.

Rumors: The DIY Soap Opera of Everyday Life

Rumors are like a do-it-yourself soap opera. I heard a rumor that my neighbor is secretly a ninja. If that's true, he's the worst ninja ever; I can hear him trying to quietly open a bag of chips at 2 AM.

Rumor Has It: I’m the Next Superhero, Captain Speculation!

You know you've made it in life when there are rumors about you. I heard a rumor that I can fly. It turns out, it was just a really optimistic pigeon. I'm not a superhero; I'm just a person with an overactive imagination.

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