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Why did the rock refuse to play hide and seek? It couldn't take being taken for granite!
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My grandmother once asked me what 'rock and roll' meant. I told her it's the sound the refrigerator makes at 3 AM when you're trying to sneak a midnight snack without waking anyone up.
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I realized I'm getting old when my idea of a wild night is turning up the volume on my favorite rock and roll playlist and hoping I don't wake up the neighbors. Ah, the rebellious spirit of adulthood!
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Rock and roll, or as I like to call it, the only workout where you don't actually move. It's like, 'Yeah, I lifted my air guitar for an hour, now where's my six-pack?'
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I joined a rock and roll band, thinking it would be all about the music. Little did I know, it's mostly about arguing over who gets the last slice of pizza in the tour bus.
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Rock and roll is like a superhero - it has its origin story, a costume (usually leather pants), and by the end of the night, it leaves you wondering, 'Did I just witness a concert or a crime against fashion?'
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I tried to impress my date with my rock and roll knowledge. I told her I could name all the Rolling Stones. Turns out, 'rock' and 'roll' were not acceptable answers.
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Rock and roll is like a relationship - it starts off wild and rebellious, but after a while, you just want to sit on the couch with it and watch a documentary about penguins.
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Rock and roll has taught me that if life gives you lemons, make sure to play them as power chords and write a hit song about it. Lemonade has never sounded so rebellious.
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I asked my doctor if listening to rock and roll counts as cardio. He said, 'Only if headbanging is your preferred form of CPR.'
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