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Have you ever heard of a polite robber? Well, I have! This guy walks into the store, waves his gun, and says, "Excuse me, could you please put the money in the bag? And if it's not too much trouble, throw in some extra napkins." I mean, who knew crime could be so well-mannered? I can picture him saying, "Sorry for the inconvenience, but I really need that cash for, you know, bills and stuff. Life's tough even for robbers these days.
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So, there's this guy who decides to rob a convenience store, and he pulls out his phone to use the GPS for directions. I guess even criminals rely on technology these days. He's standing there, phone in hand, looking at the map, and the cashier just stares at him. I imagine the robber saying, "Hold on a sec, I just need to make sure I'm on the right path to a life of crime. Siri, how do I avoid police checkpoints?" I mean, who needs a criminal mastermind when you've got Google Maps, right?
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I heard about this guy who tried to rob a jewelry store, but he forgot his mask at home. Can you believe that? I guess he took "mask up" quite literally. He walks in, realizes he's maskless, and goes, "Oh, shoot! I'll be right back, don't call the cops yet!" I'm thinking, buddy, you might want to work on your criminal checklist. Mask, check. Bag for loot, check. Getaway car, check. Maybe a "How to Rob 101" manual would have come in handy for this forgetful fella.
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You know, I was reading in the news about this guy who attempted a robbery, and I couldn't help but think, "Come on, dude, at least be efficient about it!" This guy walks into a bank, right? But get this, he stands in line! I mean, who robs a bank and waits their turn? It's like he wanted to make sure everyone got their deposits in before he took the money out. I'm imagining him politely asking the teller, "Excuse me, can I get a withdrawal? Oh, and a lollipop for the getaway, please?
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