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Joke Types
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Why did the billionaire bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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I told my friend I could make a car out of spaghetti. He didn't believe me until I drove pasta Ferrari!
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Why did the wealthy computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage!
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I told my friend I could make a boat out of spaghetti. He said, 'That's impastable!
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I told my friend I could make a belt out of dollar bills. He said, 'That's a buck-le up idea!
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Why did the wealthy man bring a pencil to his wallet? In case he needed to draw some interest!
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Why did the rich guy bring a ladder to the bank? He wanted to check his balance!
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I told my friend I could make a belt out of watches. He said, 'That's a waist of time!
Money Talks (Back)
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They say money talks, but mine has developed a sarcastic tone. I tried to buy a private island, and the real estate agent said, Oh, you want the one with real sand, not the one with gold dust. How common of you. Apparently, even my money has high standards.
Wealthy Woes
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I tried to donate to a charity the other day, and they rejected my contribution. Apparently, they're not equipped to handle donations in the form of solid gold bars. I told them, It's for the greater good! They disagreed. Now I have a stack of gold bars looking for a cause.
Luxury Problems
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I recently realized I'm so rich that I have trust issues with my own refrigerator. I mean, it's got all these fancy buttons and compartments, and I can't help but think it's judging me for choosing generic ketchup. I can't escape judgment, even from my appliances!
Bank Account Confessions
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My bank called me the other day and said, Sir, your account is overdrawn. I said, No, that's just my way of testing your commitment. I like to keep my financial institution on their toes. It's like a trust fall, but with money.
Fortune Cookie Wisdom
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Being rich is like getting the golden ticket in life, but instead of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, you end up at the IRS. They say money can't buy happiness, but have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? Exactly. I'm just out here trying to find joy in tax deductions and offshore accounts.
Rich and Ridiculous
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You know you've made it when your wallet has more layers than an onion. I mean, my credit cards have become so exclusive, they're practically VIP members at the bank. They get red carpet treatment. I tried using a regular card the other day, and the cashier asked, Sir, are you sure you're in the right tax bracket for this transaction?
First World Frustrations
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My butler recently complained about the workload. I said, I get it; managing my extensive collection of antique spoons must be exhausting. He rolled his eyes, but let's be honest, being a billionaire is a full-time job. Someone's got to count all those zeros in my bank statement.
Midas Touch Misadventures
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People often ask me, What's it like being the richest person in the room? It's like having a superpower, except instead of saving the world, I turn everything I touch into designer clothing. My friends avoid handshakes; they're afraid I'll upgrade their T-shirts to cashmere sweaters.
High-End Problems
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I bought a new car recently, and it came with a feature I didn't know I needed: a built-in guilt trip. Every time I start the engine, it looks at me and says, You know, some people can't even afford bus fare. Now I have an eco-conscious car judging me for my carbon footprint.
Rich People Problems
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I'm so wealthy that when I play Monopoly, I buy the properties I already own, just for the nostalgia. It's like a real estate version of déjà vu. My friends don't get it; they're still struggling to get past Go while I'm building hotels on Park Place and taking selfies with the Monopoly man.
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